A Cold Day In Hell
by TheSilentPartner
Summary: How do you fight the inevitable when your heart is working against you? A near death experience brings Bill & Pepper together.
1. Chapter 1

_**A COLD DAY IN HELL**_

Normally Bill looked forward to Friday evenings, but not today. To top off a really bad day he knew that his crew was planning a surprise birthday party for him tonight. After finding out that one of his biggest cases had been mishandled and three of his detectives were under investigation, as well as himself, Bill wasn't in a mood for a party. He scowls at the thought as he returns to his office and slumps down in his chair to sulk. After a day like today he really needed his normal Friday night routine of dinner and a movie at Pepper's house while he did his laundry. It may not seem very exciting, but it was relaxing and Pepper was his best friend. He could talk to her when he had a problem and when he didn't feel like talking she always understood. She knew him better than he knew himself sometimes.

They have been working together for two years now and were very close... as friends. Although Pepper was very attractive she had always made it clear they were only friends. And after a few attempts to get her to really date him he had conceded. It's not like Bill had any shortage of women to go out with when he wanted to; they just didn't measure up to her. It was a strange relationship they had. One where they could joke around like friends, take her out to a movie and dinner, confide his deepest secrets to her without embarrassment. Not to mention they made a great team when it came to police work.

Now, as Bill sit's at his desk pouting there is a soft knock on his door. When he looks up he sees Pepper leaning against the door frame smiling at him. "What?"

"You look like a little kid pouting because you have to go to school."

"I am. You know how much I hate these things, Pepp. Why can't we just cancel it?"

"Cancel what?"

"You know what. My birthday party."

"Cancel your birthday party? Which you're not supposed to know about, by the way."

"Please, Pepp?"

"Why?"

"I hate birthday parties... and I've had a really bad day."

Pepper laughs as she comes in and closes the door before perching herself on the edge of his desk to get the scoop on his private meeting with the boss. "Stop pouting and tell me what happened in Clayton's office."

"I can't. There's a big investigation into one of our cases."

"Who's involved?"

"Me and three of the guys. I can't tell you any more than that."

"Which guys?"

"I can't tell you."

"What did they do?"

"Pepper, I can't say."

"Which case?"

"Mendez."

"What did they do, Bill?"

"Pepper! Don't you listen to me at all? I just told you I can't say anything about it. I wasn't even supposed to tell you which case!"

"You know you can trust me, Bill. When have I ever told a secret?"

"When you told me about my birthday party. Look, I know I can trust you, but this is an order from above. I don't want to fail the lie detector test question about discussing the case."

"Oh, all right, I won't push anymore, but you better tell me all about it as soon as you can, buddy."

"Knowing you, you'll have it all figured out by then."

"Who me?"

Bill grabs her toe, exposed from her sandal, and tweaks it playfully. Pepper laughs and jerks her foot back as Bill teases her out of this interrogation. "Yes you! Now, come on. Let me buy you lunch so I can convince you to cancel this stupid party tonight."

Pepper smiles as she agrees. She knows Bill well and has long since realized that his stomach rules his world. They leave together, more relaxed after their talk.

******

Pepper is rushing around her house making sure everything is as it should be before Bill's normal arrival time. The party is for his thirty-fifth birthday and the whole division is at her house for the surprise party. Bill hates parties so she told him she had canceled it. Now that he relaxed after she conned him into thinking he was just coming over for his usual Friday night, she could really surprise him. She has everyone hiding out back around the pool waiting for him to arrive. As the time grows close Pepper orders everyone to their hiding places with plenty of ammunition and then goes to look out the front window. There is only her car out front, because everyone else parked around the block so Bill wouldn't realize they were here.

Just then Bill's car pulls into the driveway behind hers and he just sits there staring at her house. She wonders if he knows about the party, but then he sighs heavily and gets out. He sees her in the window and smiles as he approaches with his laundry bag. He lets himself in and she is there to greet him at the door as usual. He hesitantly steps in, looking around as if half expecting a party to be there anyway.

"What?"

"No people? Did you really cancel my party?"

"Yes, want a beer?"

"Sure, and thanks, Pepp."

"And while you're out there, can you light the grill? I thought I might put you to work tonight on a couple of steaks."

"Ok."

Bill heads for the back patio to start the grill, completely unaware that he has just been set up. On the way he grabs his beer and pops it open to take a long drink as he steps out onto the patio. He is several feet out when he is suddenly bombarded by water balloons as everyone stands up to yell, "Surprise!" Bill tries to find cover, but it's too late and he is soaked. He makes a dash for the kitchen door, but when he spins around Pepper is standing there with a water balloon also. Bill stops suddenly and points to her as she raises it to throw. In slow motion she steps towards him as he backs away.

"Pepper! Don't you dare!"

She ignores him and throws the balloon just as he ducks away too slowly; and the balloon hit's him on the back of the neck, exploding and soaking his head. Everyone laughs and cheers as Bill stands there dripping and scowling at them. After a few moments he finally breaks into a grin and shakes water from his head as they all approach to wish him a happy birthday. Pepper is the last one to come by and she can see the evil glint in his eyes as she steps up to kiss his cheek. She tries to control the laughter in her voice as she whispers, "Sorry."

Bill slides his arm around her waist, suddenly swinging her up into his arms as he heads for the pool. She screams in surprise as he holds her over the edge and threatens to drop her in. "You're gonna' be sorry, all right."

Bill quickly throws her in like a sack of potatoes. Everyone is laughing as Joe sneaks up behind Bill as he gloats to push him into the pool also. By the time he and Pepper get out of the water the party is under way. They go into the pool house where she hands him a towel and a clean pair of swim trunks he keeps there. As he towels dry she also tosses him a pair of his shorts and he simply scowls at her and snatches them out of the air. She laughs and turns her back to begin getting out of her wet clothing. She is wearing her swim suit under her tee shirt, but Bill's breath still catches in his throat as she pulls the wet shirt off. She turns to see him watching her, naive to the image she presents.

"What?"

"I was just wondering if there were any more surprises in store for me today?"

"I think you've had enough surprises for one day. You are an old man now and we can't risk giving you a heart attack."

"I'll show you old, lady! I'll throw you back in the pool if you don't watch it!"

He grabs her arm and pulls her up against his chest as he threatens this. Pepper laughs and struggles half-heartedly as he tickles her. Again Bill feels his pulse race as her body presses against him and his focus suddenly changes. He tightens his hold on her as he huskily growls, "So, what about my birthday kiss?"

Pepper stops struggling and twists in his arms to look up at him as she teasingly plays along. "Oh, all right, here..."

She gives him a light kiss on the lips which ends before he can respond. They are both stunned by the instant excitement crackling in the air between them at this intimate contact. Pepper stiffens as his hands suddenly come up to frame her face. Their eyes meet and time seems to stand still as his mouth slowly drops to claim hers again. This time the flames leap to life as he takes her in a searching kiss she can't ignore. She tries, but after a moment she sighs and returns his caresses. For several moments they stand motionless, just kissing, before her hands glide slowly up his chest. They curl around his neck and he moans softly against her lips as he pulls back slightly. This breathless sound finally penetrates the haze in her brain as she realizes what she is doing. Bill is nibbling on her lower lip as her eyes fly open in shock. She pushes him away from her.

He looks as shocked as she does when she hoarsely whispers, "No! Stop!"

He releases her as she continues to push against him and she stumbles back a few steps. He notices the flush on her cheeks and her parted lips, still glistening from his kisses, but most of all he sees the confusion in her eyes as she tries to control her heavy breathing.

"I'd be willing to have a birthday party every day if you'd kiss me like that again."

She is angry with herself for allowing him to get to her and decides to take the offensive as she turns her embarrassment into anger. "Don't count on it, mister! It'll be a cold day in hell before I let you touch me again!"

Bill is stunned at her sudden angry outburst and just stares after her as she storms out of the pool house. Where did that come from? He stands there for a long time wondering if he simply imagined her response to his kisses. He can't deny his own reaction, but he may have misinterpreted her simple birthday kiss as more. She has always been very clear how she felt about a relationship between them. It worries him that he came so close to revealing his true feelings for her. Normally he is very careful just to be a friend, as he has been for over two years now.

Pepper has never suspected that he's been in love with her since the day they met. Bill swore he wouldn't tell her until she showed some sign that his love wouldn't be rejected. He doesn't know what happened to her before she came to work with his crew, but she is very leery of relationships. She hasn't even had a serious date in the past two years. She seems content to just have Bill as a friend with no emotional attachments and he's gladly gone along with her on this in the hope that someday she would get over the past and turn to him. When she was ready to live again he would be here waiting for her. For tonight, he decides to give her some space so she can calm down. Bill doesn't want to do anything that may jeopardize their friendship.

The remainder of the evening goes well and the party lasts late into the night. Pepper is upset and tired after an evening spent trying to avoid Bill without interfering with the party. She finally goes inside and helps herself to a cup of coffee in a quiet corner while the party rages on outside. She needs some time alone to examine her emotions and decide how to handle this near disaster. After a while Bill notices she is missing and goes to look for her. He finds her sitting in the kitchen, lost in thought as he cautiously pokes his head around the corner. "Is it safe to come in?"

"Yea, I guess." She holds up her hand to usher him in and he sits down across from her.

There is a long silence before Bill timidly brings up the topic that stands between them like a brick wall. "You still mad at me?"

"That depends... are you gonna' behave yourself?"

"Yea, but only until they have a cold day in hell. Then you better watch out, lady."

Their eyes meet with secret meaning and Pepper laughs to hide her nervousness. She saw the serious glint in his eyes and it scares her so she tries to ignore it. "Good, you just remember that, bud."

"You look tired. Why don't you sneak off to bed and I'll make sure these hoodlums don't steal you blind before they leave."

"I'll be all right. I just needed to sit down for a few quiet minutes."

"It's getting late. I'll have them out of here before long."

She just smiles as he stands up. Suddenly Bill leans over and kisses her on the cheek as he softly adds, "Thanks for the party, Pepp. It's been a great birthday."

He leaves before she can reply and she just smiles and sips her coffee. Bill is true to his word and within an hour he has directed everyone to find another place to hang out if they want to continue the party. Everyone gets the message and instead of moving to another location they all decide to head for home. Bill is the last to leave and by the time they are all gone Pepper is sound asleep on the couch. He cleans up some of the mess for her and then covers her up with a blanket before letting himself out silently.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Bill's birthday came and went and people talked about what a great party it had been for weeks afterward. Pepper knew it would be a success because Bill is loved by everyone, but she had to admit it was one of her better parties. Despite being apprehensive, she and Bill were back to normal and they both seemed to have forgotten the incident in her pool house. Pepper still thinks about it from time to time and smiles. Her mind wanders to what might have happened if she'd given in to him. It's been a long time since she thought about Bill that way, but after that incident she can't seem to get him out of her head.

Bill, if anything, is even more casual around her and treats her like one of the guys. This makes it easier for her to keep her mind off of dangerous topics like what Bill would be like as a lover. She is just going through another phase where her body let's her know it's been over two years since she's satisfied it's desires. For that matter, it's been over two years since she's even let herself indulge in them at all. Pepper just isn't ready to take that risk again... not after what happened last time. Most of the time, she never had any trouble controlling her emotions and on those occasions when she did, she just buried herself in her work until the feelings went away. Now, those feelings refused to go away and Pepper was getting worried.

Bill had seen the fear in her eyes when he kissed her and felt her tense at his touch. He had nothing except her rejection to go on, but deep down inside he still thought there was a chance. If he pushed her before she was ready, she would run and he would lose her for good. She made it perfectly clear that she wants no part of him, except as a friend. Just the thought of not having her as a friend is too painful to consider. So for weeks after the party Bill has tried very hard to make sure things went back to normal between them.

He's been involved in the investigation and spends most of his time in meetings with internal affairs. It keeps him busy much of the time and by the end of the month he is mentally exhausted. He has turned all of the open cases over to Pepper to supervise and only sees her once a week when she briefs him on their progress. He hasn't even gone to her place for their usual Friday night routine since the party.

Friday afternoon, five weeks after his party, and Bill is totally spent. He has been spending every waking minute working on this investigation; even at home. Now that his part of it is almost done he can turn in his report and just sit back to wait and see how the chips fall. In his opinion it wasn't that big of an error, but according to the defendant's lawyer it was a crucial misconduct that could cost them their jobs. Bill knows how the city views negative publicity.

He did everything he can to ensure that his guys are protected from any unnecessary headhunting, but his guys, being the brutes they were that night, had been too aggressive in concluding the case and arresting the suspect. He didn't think they deserved to get fired for it though. Bill sit's at his desk now, staring down at his notes and trying to visualize how he'll word his report to minimize the damage to his unit. He doesn't hear Pepper come in, but looks up tiredly when she says, "You look beat."

"Oh, hi, Pepp. What can I do for you?"

"It's time for our weekly run down on the active cases."

"Already? Well, ok, let's get started." He sighs heavily and closes the file with his notes in it.

He pushes it aside and tries to give Pepper his undivided attention. A nagging head-ache makes it hard for him to concentrate and he keeps rubbing his temples. She gives him a run down on each case in progress, but after several minutes she stops and stares at him as he sighs heavily and again rubs his temples. He closes his eyes in pain and when he opens them again he sees the concern on her face.

"Why don't we put this off until later? You look exhausted."

"No, I'm ok. Sorry, I didn't catch the last file info."

"I doubt you really heard anything I've been saying since I came in here. Why don't you just leave early today, Bill."

"I've got to get this report done by Monday for the internal affairs committee."

"That's Monday. I tell you what, why don't you leave early. Go home and take a nap, then say about seven o'clock you come to my place and we'll do our usual Friday night dinner and laundry routine. I've got four new movies for you to choose from and I know you could use some mindless distraction. Then you'll feel refreshed and able to work on this investigation. You'll still have plenty of time to get it done before Monday, ok?"

"I don't know, Pepp. I'm not very..."

"Bill, that wasn't a request."

"Ok, boss. But I'm warning you, I won't be very good company tonight. I'm so worn

out from the stress of this thing you may kick me out after a while."

"I doubt it."

"I know you will when you see how much laundry I have stacked up."

She just laughs and reminds him to be there at seven o'clock before leaving him alone. Bill sit's there for a few minutes and smiles to himself as he realizes she knows him too well. He finally closes up his files and puts them in his briefcase before following her advise and leaving early. He is tired, but doesn't think he'll be able to sleep when he gets home.

******

At exactly seven o'clock Bill rings her doorbell and when she opens the door he is leaning on the door jamb grinning at her and looking much more relaxed. "How is it you know me so well?"

"Magic. Did you sleep?"

"Like a baby. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep, but I was out as soon as I laid down. It's a good thing you called to remind me to bring beer because I was still asleep."

"I thought you sounded sleepy. I hope you're hungry because dinner is ready any time you are."

"I'm starved, what is it?"

"Come find out."

They eat in the living room so they can watch the movie of Bill's choice, a western. Bill loves her cooking and isn't embarrassed to go back for his third plate. Pepper, as usual, teases him about being a bottomless pit and he just grins. It makes her feel good to see him enjoy her cooking enough to gorge himself on it. She knows he isn't one to cook for himself and frequently eats frozen meals that he can microwave. She likes to make sure he has a good meal at least once a week and tries to make something special for their Friday nights. Every once in a while she allows him to grill, which is one thing he does do very well.

Now, as the movie ends, his laundry is almost done and they are both relaxed. Bill is reclining in his favorite chair with sleepy satisfaction that makes her smile. She picks up their dishes and starts to walk past him as she comments.

"It's good to see you looking relaxed again."

He stops her as she would have walked past him by gently grabbing her free hand. She stops and looks down at him as he slowly presses her palm to his lips before he says, "Thank you for looking out for me, Pepp."

She doesn't know what to say and just stands there, mesmerized by his eyes. Slowly her hand curves up to caress his rough jaw and it sends chills up her spine. The intense feeling jolts her back to reality and she quickly pulls her hand back as if he bit her. She hurries on to the kitchen, not trusting herself to be near him.

"Do you want coffee?"

"Sure. Do you mind if I watch the news?"

Bill feels Pepper is hiding her true feelings from him. He smiles as he ponders on her slight slip. When she returns from making the coffee she has her emotions back under control. Bill is still in his chair watching the weather forecast. Pepper sets the cups down as the newscaster is talking about a particularly harsh snow storm in Poland. The newscaster ends the broadcast by zooming in on a sign outside the polish town of Helsinki. Due to heavy snow coverage on the sign all that is readable is '**Welcome to Hel**'. The newscaster laughs as he says, _"...and that's all for this evening. So in closing I guess we could say it was a very cold day in hell today! Goodnight."_

Pepper isn't listening to the news until Bill suddenly sit's forward in his chair. "Well, well, did you hear that, Pepp?"

"What?"

"That weather guy said it was a cold day in hell today. See?"

He points to the TV and Pepper looks up to see the snow covered sign still on the screen. She suddenly realizes why he is so interested in the sign, but pretends not to understand as she steps away from his chair.

"Oh, yea, that's cute."

"It's more than that. This is my lucky day."

"Wha... What are you talking about, Bill?"

She sits down on the couch, trying to act casual as Bill playfully steps closer with a determined look in his eye. He can see her nervousness and only intends to tease her about her 'terms'. He advances on her slowly as he reminds her of her ultimatum.

"Remember, Pepper? 'a cold day in hell?' That's when you said I could kiss you again."

"Don't be ridiculous, Bill. That was just a phrase."

"No, it was a statement of fact, if you ask me. You said..."

She is too nervous sitting on the couch, feeling trapped by his presence as he slowly walks towards her. She suddenly jumps off the couch and tries to get around him so she can leave the room, but he anticipates her move and cuts her off. Pepper tries to remain calm as she steps back, bumping into the arm of the couch she just left.

She catches her balance as she tries to reason with him. "Bill, you know that was only a figure of speech. I didn't mean it literally."

"I did... and we had a deal, lady."

She backs away from him blindly as he easily moves in to trap her. Pepper gasps softly as she realizes he has just backed her against the wall with no escape. There is a large lamp on one side and the couch on the other. She doesn't dare take her eyes from his to look for a way out and anxiously presses herself against the wall as he moves even closer. She is afraid of the wicked glint in his eyes, but he can't seem to stop this crazy game. For two years he's controlled his passion for her out of fear of scaring her away. Now, as the one thing he wants most is only moments away he knows she is truly afraid of him. Bill stops when he is one foot away and looks down at the hands she has pressed against his chest in an attempt to keep him away. After a moment he looks back up at her wide eyes and huskily lays out the terms of her surrender.

"You said I could kiss you when it was a cold day in hell. Now, I want my kiss."

"Bill, please, don't do this. It's not funny."

"I'm dead serious. I want to kiss you, and you know what I mean. That's all I want... then I'll leave you alone."

He leans his body against her stiff arms and feels them tremble with the effort to hold him back. She is panting shallowly like a trapped rabbit with her lips parted slightly. Bill feels his pulse jump as she unconsciously licks her dry lips in a very provocative way. She is held spellbound by his eyes and can't seem to resist as his hands close around her wrists to pull them back against the wall on either side of her head. Bill imprisons her hands as his body presses her against the wall.

She is helpless to escape as her body responds to the physical contact with his. She can only watch as his mouth comes closer to her own in slow motion. When his lips are a mere inch from hers he stops and huskily orders, "Kiss me..."

If she does her defensive walls will come crashing down around her feet. She's been feeling too vulnerable lately to withstand this sexy man who is determined to make her kiss him. Pepper can only whimper helplessly as his hard body presses seductively against hers. She feels her self control slipping as he places his lips against hers and huskily growls again.

"Kiss me, Pepper..."

The heat of his mouth on hers is more than her frayed resistance can stand and her lips mold themselves to his. Her head is spinning as a voice inside screams a warning, but every fiber of her body screams to let go and indulge in her needs. At first her kiss is tentative, but Bill is patient and tenderly urges her lips to part as he guides her into a deeper kiss. When his hot tongue gently probes her own she moans softly and finally gives in, losing herself in a deep kiss. She relaxes and reaches up to kiss him with a passion too long denied.

Bill had been playing, but when she suddenly opens up to him he is rocked to his very soul by the desire rising up to match hers. He never knew such intense emotions existed in him as he returns her urgent caresses with a need of his own. He releases her arms as his hands come to gently frame her face. Pepper's hands creep up around his neck with a will of their own. Her fingers wind frantically through his thick hair as he glides his hands down over her body to draw her into the circle of his arms. He holds her tightly against his male form and it is a long time before either is able to tear away and draw a shaky breath.

Bill looks down into her eyes with naked desire and Pepper is afraid of the intensity she sees there, but she can't stop herself as she again draws his mouth back to hers. She kisses him with endless desire. In the back of his mind he knows he should stop this insanity, but he also knows that he won't… he can't stop. He never expected such a response from her and he can only hope she has secretly wanted him as much as he's longed for her all this time. Bill is lost in her sweet, talented lips as they now travel hungrily along his jaw to his ear. Afraid to destroy this magical moment he doesn't move as she nibbles on his ear. He simply sighs against her throat when her delicate caress sends shivers through him.

After several minutes she has become very still, not moving and barely breathing. Fear fills his heart as her head rests on his shoulder in a defeated posture and a heavy sigh escapes her. Bill knows the next few moments will decide their future... for good or bad it all depends on her next words. Bill's breathing sounds harsh in the stillness of the moment as he waits for her to decide his future. It is several seconds before he feels her sag, almost inwardly, and his heart aches for what he knows will come. Pepper doesn't lift her head from his shoulder as she finally speaks and her voice is low and sad.

"Damn you, Crowley..."

He can hardly hear the words, but he can definitely hear the pain and resignation in her voice. From this moment on their friendship will never be the same... his life will never be complete without her. As he hoarsely whispers his understanding, he draws her in close. "I know..."

She finally lifts her head to look up at him with haunted eyes. "Why?" He can see the pain there and hates himself for what he's done to them. She makes no attempt to push him away as she studies him for a long time.

He wants to hold her until the pain in her eyes goes away, but if they stand any chance for a future together he must be totally honest with her now. "I should be sorry, but I'm not. I've wanted to do that ever since I first met you."

She doesn't answer and simply looks down at his chest. Bill feels her slipping away from him as her defenses rise at his words. He hurries to explain how he feels in the hope she won't hate him.

"Pepper, you know how I feel about you. I've never lied to you about that. I think I've loved you from the first day you came in my office." A scared little gasp escapes her and he tips her chin up to look into her eyes. Bill is surprised to see her tears and holds her close against his chest as he tries to soothe her fears. "Baby, don't cry. I'm sorry I messed things up... Ssshhh..."

Several minutes go by before Pepper again raises her head and looks him in the eye. Her tears are shed and she tries to smile as she wipes the moisture from her cheek and gently scolds him. "Why couldn't you just keep your distance? I had no problem controlling things when you behaved yourself."

"Maybe I knew you really didn't want me to keep my distance. At the party... I thought I imagined it, but now... I think the two of us have been hiding things."

She doesn't answer for a long time as her eyes stray to the dark hair curling from the vee of his shirt collar. She is very confused and doesn't know how she is going to handle this new complication in her life. Her friendship with Bill will never be the same, but a part of her is glad she no longer has to pretend. Everything seems to be moving so fast she can't keep up. Her logical side tells her to put distance between them and rebuild her defenses before something worse happens. Yet, she knows it's too late. She released that inner most part of herself tonight and it won't allow itself to be buried again. Finally she looks back up and decides to tell him the truth.

"This isn't all your fault, Bill. I'd be lying to both of us if I said I wasn't attracted to you, but there's more to it than that. I... I don't even know where to begin..."

He studies her for a moment and sees her struggle with memories from her past. He gently strokes back her hair and offers his support to help her through this. "Start at the beginning. I'm a good listener and I promise I won't attack you; unless you want me to."

He grins and she can't help but smile back. Pepper has never had a friend like Bill and she trusts him with her darkest secrets. She just isn't sure she can trust him with her heart. "Ok, but you're not going to like it."

"I won't care, whatever it is, but there's one thing I have to ask first..."

"What's that?"

"Let me kiss you again... please?"

Pepper doesn't answer him as his lips hover above hers in anticipation. She needs to feel the tender strength of his kisses again too and stands on tiptoe to close the last fraction of distance between them. Bill is tender, but intense as his kiss pleads for her inner sweetness. When her lips part he groans softly and skillfully ravages her tongue with his own. Pepper feels his soul pouring into her through this kiss and feels alive for the first time in two years. One kiss blends into the next and it is several minutes before they can bare to separate.

Bill's eyes are stormy with passion as he takes a deep breath and releases her. Then almost immediately he steps forward again, swinging her into his arms. "I can't stand it. I have to have you close to me."

He carries her to the couch and sits down with her on his lap. He loosens his grip, but holds her close enough that he can inhale her sweet perfume. Pepper turns so she is resting against the arm of the couch, but still on his lap as she shakes her head and teases him about his possessiveness.

"What have I gotten myself into this time?"

"Trouble as usual. Now, tell me this dark secret of yours. Then I'll tell you mine, ok?"

She hesitates a moment before she looks deeply into his eyes, gently stroking her fingers along his jaw as she'd done earlier. Finally she leans in to kiss him tenderly before she begins her tale.

"I'm not good at relationships, Bill. I'm cursed actually. The last time... I remember like it was yesterday. Every painful detail seems to be permanently etched in my memory forever."

Bill feels his stomach tighten at the thought of Pepper pining away for a lost love. He is suddenly jealous and wants to demand answers, but he controls himself and waits until she continues.

"Before I came here, you know I worked in San Francisco. Well, what I never told you is why I left there. It had to do with my last partner. I can look back now and see that it was doomed from the start. I guess back then I was just too naive to see what was happening."

Again she pauses, the memories too painful for her to discuss. This is the part of her life she has never told anyone about and after another heavy sigh she forces herself to go on.

"To put it bluntly I became involved with a man I worked with. We weren't partners at the time, but we hung out with the same people, went to the same parties, and saw each other at work. I enjoyed all the attention he gave me and I didn't realize how controlling he was becoming."

"Who was he?"

"His name isn't important."

"Do you still love him?" She is stunned by his question, but realizes that he rightly came to that conclusion from what she's told him so far.

She smiles tenderly and shakes her head as she teases him again about his possessive nature. "No, so there's no need to get all huffy."

"I wasn't... I just..."

"You weren't, huh?"

"Ok, so I was. I can't help how I feel about you."

He slips his fingers into her long hair to guide her mouth to his again. She allows him to kiss her lightly, but avoids his attempts to deepen the kiss as she firmly pushes back. His words only enforce her belief that men and relationships are dangerous.

"Bill, stop. I won't ever tell you this again if I don't do it now."

"Ok, I'll behave."

"Now, as I said it was getting more serious. I never gave it a thought until one day I find out that he got transferred so he could be my partner. Before I could say anything he and I were working together. We were together all day, all night... we were never apart. It didn't take me long to realize I needed some space. That's when the problems started. I told him I felt like he was smothering me. The more I tried to get away; the more possessive he became."

"It can be like that sometimes."

"I know that now, but it was a hard lesson to learn. After a few months we were fighting so much we both got disciplined for our arguments at work. It got so bad I requested we be separated. I explained the whole sordid thing to my boss and luckily he understood and re-assigned him. We were still in the same unit, but at least I could leave the building without him... or so I thought. He started to threaten my new partner and make

terrible accusations that I was fooling around with him. It was awful."

She hesitates, mulling over painful memories while Bill studies her down bent face. He now begins to understand her reluctance to become involved with him... since they do work very closely together. His fear is that she sees all men, the same way.

"Is that why you've been alone so long? Are you afraid all men are like him?"

"Not exactly. There's more. After one especially bad fight, my new partner, who was happily married, stepped in to defend me. He told this guy I wasn't any of his concern any longer because I had broken up with him. He punched my new partner and told me it wasn't ever going to be over. After that I was afraid for myself as well as for Jimmy."

"Jimmy?"

"My new partner. Jimmy tried to warn me he was a hothead who would do anything to get me back. I thought he'd forget about me in time and move on. Unfortunately I was wrong. It just kept getting worse. He followed me constantly, he made scenes in public, and threatened me in private. I finally went to the captain and told him what was going on. He took action, ordering him to stay away from me or be fired."

Again she stops as painful memories come rushing back. Bill gently rubs her back and wait's. She finally continues in a low pained voice that makes Bill's heart ache to hear.

"That was the last straw for him. He blamed me for almost losing his job, for being unhappy and for everyone turning against him. I guess it was my fault in a way."

"You know it wasn't. A man that insecure is mentally off."

"Yea, that's what they told me when it was all over. The day after his talk with the captain he went to Jimmy's house to 'enlighten' his wife about my affair with her husband. When Jimmy found out he was furious and confronted him in the office. A fight broke out between them and he shot Jimmy. He went insane, running around pointing his gun at everyone. He said that if he couldn't have me no one would. He was going... going to kill me for turning against him."

"Oh, Jesus, Pepp... I'm sorry."

"He almost did it, too. Except someone distracted him by throwing a book at him. It knocked his gun from his hand and I was able to get away. Several people jumped him as he tried to get his gun back, but they couldn't stop him. He got his gun and killed himself before… it all happened so fast. Right there in front of everyone he yelled that I had done this to him and blew his head off."

She starts to cry again and Bill holds her close. He had no idea she was hiding such a horrid secret. It's no wonder she hasn't wanted any man's attention after that happened. He comforts her until the tears have stopped and she rests her head on his shoulder, breathing shallowly. "He was a sick man, Pepper. It wasn't your fault at all."

"I should have seen it coming."

"How? You said yourself he was nice in the beginning. No one can predict something like that. I'm just sorry you had to live through that because now your view of men is scarred. We're not all like that guy, baby."

"I know, but it's different when you're involved with someone."

"What happened to Jimmy?"

"He was ok, the shot wasn't life threatening. His wife knew me and the problems I was having, so she didn't believe the lies. By the end of the investigation I was so stressed I had to take a leave of absence. Then, when I was strong enough to return to work I just couldn't go back there. I couldn't face those people again so I came here... and you know

the rest of my story."

"Now I know why you looked so terrified when I made you kiss me earlier."

Pepper is shaken from her memories by his words and she looks up at him, shaking her head. She can't let him believe that she was comparing him to that other monster. She strokes his jaw and ruffles his hair as she explains.

"No, Bill... that's not it at all. I didn't see you like he was. I was scared, but not of you. I was scared of myself. I knew that if you kissed me again... like that day in the pool house, I wouldn't be able to control myself. You were right when you said I've been hiding something. I've been trying very hard to ignore how my heart beats fast when you touch me. How I can't sleep at night for missing you sometimes."

There is a long pause as they stare deeply into each other's eyes searching for the truth. Bill is afraid to ask the question that is screaming in his head. Afraid she'll think he's moving too fast and associate him with that guy. He decides to keep a tight rein on his emotions until he knows exactly how she feels.

"I may be strong willed, but I don't think there's a woman alive who could deny being attracted to you. At first I was too scared to even look, but after a while... I began noticing little things like your aftershave, your deep sexy laugh, your kindness, your cute butt..."

Bill laughs as she arches her eyebrow suggestively. She sighs and lays her head back on the arm of the couch, totally relaxed in his arms before she continues.

"That's when I decided I was never going to make that mistake again. I loved my job here and I was just realizing how nice it was to have a friend. A good friend that I could depend on. I didn't want to give those things up so I decided you would never know how I felt about you."

"So you'd rather have me as a friend?"

"I don't know what I want now, Bill. All I know is I can't allow anything to happen as long as we work together. I know relationships like that don't work. I won't go through that again and I won't put anyone else in that position either."

"So what do we do now? We know how we feel, we still have to work together and if I understand you correctly we're not allowed to touch each other ever again, right?"

"Bill, I'm sorry. I tried to tell you... several times. I never should have let things get this far out of control in the first place."

She gets up and goes to stand across the room. She can't stand being that close to him when her defenses are so weak. All he has to do is kiss her again and she'd do anything he wanted... for the moment. Then when the cold light of day came she would be back in the same position she had been in two years ago. She just couldn't let that happen again.

Bill sit's there watching her, trying to decide how he should proceed with this situation. They were meant to be together, but Pepper is determined not to get involved with a man she works with. Bill is tempted to tell her he'll transfer to another division, but then dismisses the idea. He's been the S.C.U. sergeant for six years now and there isn't another position on the whole department he'd rather have. He shakes his head tiredly as he dismisses the idea of asking her to transfer. She loves her job and he doesn't even want to think about how miserable his life would be without her there working with him every day.

They work well together, but deep inside he knows it's much stronger than that. He suddenly wonders if he's more like that other guy than he realized. He sighs heavily, frustrated with the fact that there is a wall between them. The best thing to do for now is go along with her plan and just hope he can win her over in time. He silently rises from the couch and goes to stand directly behind her. She is startled when his hands come to rest on her shoulders. She was a million miles away, deep in the memories of the past. Bill's voice is low and soft as he brings her back to the present.

"Pepper, I understand your fears. You can't trust me... at least not yet. So I'll abide by any conditions you set. If that means being your friend instead of your lover, ok. It won't change the fact that I love you."

"How can you love me, Bill? You don't even know me... not really. It's just your hormones talking."

He suddenly spins her around to face him as his grip on her upper arms tightens in his anger. He forces her to look up at him and his eyes are stormy with emotion. She gasps softly as she sees the truth in his eyes even before he says the words.

"I've loved you ever since I met you and I won't deny it any longer. I've kept it inside for two years now, hoping you'd show some sign of interest in me too. Now that I know some day you might be able to love me too I can't deny it any longer. I love you, Pepper."

"But, Bill... I just can't..."

"I'm not asking, Pepp. I'll be your friend and your partner… for now. Just know that when the day comes… when you are able to love me… I'll be waiting and I'll love you for the rest of our lives."

His voice is so serious she has no doubt of his true feelings. She can't reply and only stands mesmerized by his eyes. Finally she relaxes in his grasp and softly whispers,

"I wish I could love you..."

"That's enough for now." He draws her securely into his arms and cradles her against his warmth.

Pepper knows how dangerous it is to indulge in his comfort, but she desperately needs someone to hold her after her forced trip into the nightmare of her past. She ignores the warnings to move away and slips her arms around his waist as she snuggles closer. Bill desperately wants to kiss her, but he doesn't dare. After several minutes she tips her face up to his throat, breathing in his aftershave. Almost unconsciously she begins to place tiny kisses on his throat. He stands motionless as her lips strain towards his ear. He lowers his head so she can reach him easier and his heart pounds wildly as he forces himself to remain still. She places soft kisses across his cheek and down his nose until their lips touch once again. She stops, with her lips resting on his, as if suddenly realizing what she is doing.

After an endless moment Bill finally takes the initiative and presses his lips to hers in a slow, gentle kiss. She sighs softly as her lips part to him. Bill takes the sweetness she offers, but is careful not to lose control and scare her. She moans huskily and molds her body to his as his arms tighten around her and the kiss becomes more urgent. She craves his kisses even as she fears where her passion will take her. Her body seems to have a mind of its own and refuses to listen to her warnings. She gives herself up to the pleasure of his caresses and is helpless to deny him anything he wants at this point.

Each kiss blends into the next with increasing urgency as her hands search the tight muscles of his back. His hands glide roughly down her back to mold her hips more firmly against his. She feels the heat of his desire and gently rubs her hips across the hot bulge in his levis. Suddenly Bill's hands become hard as he grips her hips to stop her teasing movement. He firmly forces her body away from his and breaks the kiss to take ragged breaths. He fights for control of his passion as he refuses to let her snuggle back into his arms. "I better be going. I'll stop by tomorrow to pick up my things."

He releases her and walks away, intent on putting space between them so he can think clearer. He knows how close he came to losing the little self-control he has over his emotions. He doesn't dare look back at her for fear of being spellbound by her intensely blue eyes again. Bill busies himself with picking up his keys and carrying the cold coffee cups to the kitchen. When he returns Pepper is still in the same position, staring at the carpet in stunned silence. She is shocked at her behavior, only minutes after she told him she couldn't allow herself to pursue her feelings for him... she practically attacks him. She sees his feet enter her line of sight as he comes to stand before her again. When she looks up his emotions are tightly under control again. He smiles tenderly and quickly kisses her on the forehead just has he has every Friday night for the past two years.

"Thanks for dinner, Pepp. I'll see you tomorrow."

He turns and hurries out the front door before she can move and then she only manages two steps before she sags into a chair. She sits there in a daze wondering how her world got so confusing in such a short time.

Once Bill forced himself leave his strength faded and he stood on her front porch, holding onto the rail for several minutes. He breathes in the cool night air in deep gulps in an attempt to cool his hot blood. It had taken every ounce of his self-control to leave her at that moment when she would have given him anything. He knows how easy it would have been to ignore reality and take what she was offering in a moment of weakness, but tomorrow he would surely pay a heavy price for it. A price he wasn't willing to pay. He tells himself over and over again that it's better this way as he drives home in a whirl wind of emotions. Once home he knows sleep is impossible so he sits down with a glass of scotch to work on his internal affairs report.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

Although it is very difficult to keep his hands off her, Bill forces himself to respect her wishes. He is careful to behave as he always has, not giving anything away. during the first few days after their "near romantic" evening Pepper seemed leery of being near him. As if she didn't trust herself to behave either, but as the days and weeks went by she realized Bill wasn't going to put her in that position again. Pepper has relaxed somewhat and scolds herself for being disappointed when Bill continues to show no more interest in her than he always has. Her own emotions were in turmoil for several days. Her heart still jolts every time he looks at her, but at least now she can control the urge to throw herself into his arms every time he comes near her.

Now, five weeks after their night of confessions, life has almost returned to normal. Bill is tired from the strain of hiding his feelings and it shows in his short temper. He just found out what the punishment will be for the three guys involved in the investigation as well as his own. He merely got a slap on the wrist and told to supervise his troops better, but the three guys were looking at real discipline. Bill always hated having to come down on his guys for anything, but this time it was unavoidable. It came straight from the captain's office that he was the one to enforce the discipline because he had failed to supervise them properly in the first place. Bill takes a deep breath and pushes the button on his intercom. A moment later Diane, the desk aide answers.

"Yes, boss?"

"Diane, tell Andy, Bob Nelson and Juan that I need to see them in my office right away."

"Will do."

The line goes dead and Bill tiredly runs his fingers through his hair. A moment later there is a knock at his door.

"Come in."

When the door opens he comes face to face with all three men and his stomach churns anxiously. He can see the nervousness on their faces and knows he can't show any sympathy towards them now. He slowly sit's back in his chair and motions for them to come in.

"Come in and shut the door."

Once they have complied he looks them each in the eye long and hard before he forces himself to continue with his duty.

"You all know what this is about so I won't waste any time. I just got word today from internal affairs that the investigation is officially closed with the serving of your disciplines."

He again looks from one man to the next and thinks about how much these people mean to him. They are not only employees, they are his friends. It tears him apart to have to do this to them, but he has no choice. His frustration finally boils to the surface in the form of anger at these three men for putting him in this position. He suddenly slams his fist down on the desk so hard that all three men jump back in their seats defensively.

Bill stands up, leaning across his desk at them as he harshly says, "What in the hell were you guys thinking that night? I have never seen such a blatant disregard for our policies and standards of conduct in my entire career! Not only did you three totally disgrace yourselves, but you drug me down with you! Don't you know what the repercussions are? Damn it! I've worked too long to build this unit into what it is today to allow someone to do something so totally stupid!"

He stops to pace around his office like a caged animal. All three men have their eyes lowered in shame, afraid to look at him in case he will verbally attack them again. Finally he turns to face them as he continues in a more controlled voice.

"Six years I've put my life into making this one of the most respected divisions in the entire department. Six years we worked as a team, accomplishing more than any other three unit's put together could do. And I've always made sure you all got the

recognition you deserved. I've gone out of my way to build you all up so that whenever you wanted to move on you would have a glowing reputation to ensure you got whatever position you wanted." His voice again rises in frustration, "Do you even know what I'm talking about here!"

He stares at them and they all look at the floor. They know not to answer for fear of being singled out for his wrath. When they don't answer Bill again slams his fist down on the desk, making them jump again. His voice shakes as he tries to control his temper.

"It means, gentlemen, that in one night… no, in one hour of your incredible stupidity, you have managed to destroy all of that! Not only are your careers down the toilet's, but you've managed to drag my reputation and those of every other member of this unit down with you! Everything we've worked for is gone! From now on we won't be the most respected unit in town, we'll be the unit that can't be trusted!"

Again he paces angrily from side to side and they are glad that he is staying on the other side of the desk from them as they squirm nervously. Finally Bill takes several deep breaths and continues in a calmer voice.

"In this line of work, being undercover demands a higher level of discipline. The nature of the work we do lends itself to corruption and it's damned hard to earn respect while you're blending in with maggots. Everyone is too eager to start casting doubts and insinuations when a slight hint of scandal blows their way. And don't let my words deceive you, gentlemen, your screw up was in no way a "slight" scandal!"

He catches himself and forces his temper under control again. He is unhappy that his next words will hurt these men he considered his friends. He can't look at them as he finally forces the words out.

"There's no need to go over all that again. We all know what happened that night and we've all gone over it a thousand times trying to make sense of it. All I have left to do now is hand out the discipline from internal affairs. The word came down a few minutes ago that you're all going to be reassigned back to patrol and stripped of detective status."

There is a stunned silence as the three guys look from one to the other and then back to Bill's profile. It is a long tense moment until Bob Nelson finally speaks up timidly.

"Sarge?"

"Yea?"

"I know we screwed up and no one is to blame, but us. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for putting you through all this too."

Andy now finds his voice and adds his apologies. "Me too, boss. I hope this didn't get you in any trouble."

"I got my discipline too, Andy."

"You! For what?"

"For not supervising you properly."

"That's not fair. You didn't know."

"Juan, you'll learn that being the boss means I'm supposed to know everything you guys do at all times. I guess I'm even supposed to be psychic and know what you'll do before you do it too."

There is another long pause and finally Bill sit's back down tiredly and holds his head in his hands, too disgusted with this whole matter to continue. Bob is the most senior amongst the three detectives and takes it upon himself to ask the questions.

"What now, boss?"

"Pack up your stuff. Your reassignments are official as of tomorrow. Bob, you'll be going to central. Andy, you're going to north side, and Juan you'll be sent to Hollywood. All of you are going to be on graveyards for quite some time."

All three men groan at the assignments, but none dare to complain because they know they deserve them. Bill sighs and continues with more compassion in his voice, because these men are his friends too.

"You can wait until the others have gone home to pack up your stuff, if you want. Might be less embarrassing that way." They stand up to leave and as they are walking to the door Bill quietly adds, "If it's any consolation… I fought for you guys up there. They

wanted to fire you. I managed to convince them that patrol was a better punishment. At least there you'll have a chance to do some of the good police work I know you're capable of to start rebuilding your reputations."

They mumble their thanks as they dejectedly file out of the office. It's a long time before Bill can even move. He is totally drained and hates himself for what he just did. He is deep in thought and doesn't hear Pepper enter his office until her hand gently touches his shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Huh?"

"I heard. Are you okay?"

She has closed the door and sits on the corner of his desk as she offers her advice to him now.

"It had to be done, Bill. Unfortunately you were the one who had to do it."

"I hate this part of the stinking job. Those guys are my friends; people I've worked with and partied with for years."

"I know. Believe me, we all feel the loss. Everyone knows how much you care for them… for everyone who works for you. You make it your personal mission to adopt every person who works here as family."

"Is that wrong? Maybe I'm not a good supervisor if I can't keep work separate from personal matters."

"You know damned well you're a terrific supervisor. Your people are so productive because they respect you. They want you to be proud of them so they work ten times harder for you."

"But I can't seem to keep myself on that level, Pepp. I know there's a fine line between being a boss and a friend. Why can't I seem to stay on my side of that line?"

He gets up to pace again as his inner turmoil refuses to sit still. He again runs his fingers through his hair as he admits his anguish to his best friend.

"Today I had to kick three of my friends off the unit. I had to look them in the eye and be the one to destroy everything they've worked for."

"They did that all on their own, Bill, and you know it. It was their decision, not yours."

"But, it was my fault, because I didn't communicate to them the right way. I didn't teach them right. I should have been there that night."

He stops as his self-disgust overwhelms him. He stands with his back to her, head bent, breathing hard as he fights to control his emotions. Pepper feels his pain and wants only to comfort him as she goes to gently rub his back as she softly says, "Hey…" He turns to her and she smiles up at him, being his sanity as she's always done. "Stop beating yourself up over this, Bill. It had to be done and now it's over, ok?"

"I know, but I still feel like the biggest ass in the world."

"That's just because you care too much."

She steps closer and hugs him as she comforts him. He wraps his arms around her and rests his jaw against her soft hair, drawing on her calm strength. He loves the smell of her hair and slowly lowers his head until his face is buried in her hair at her neck. He holds her closer as a small sigh escapes him. She leans back to look up at him and is unprepared for the pain she sees there. She doesn't even hesitate as her hand gently curves around his neck, drawing his lips down to hers. Her kiss is warm and sensitive as he loses himself in its sweetness.

It isn't long before his passion flares and his lips force hers apart with an impatience born of frustration. Pepper's lips are crushed against her teeth, but she doesn't resist as blood mingles in their kiss. He kisses her roughly with a desperate need that stems from his inner pain. She tries to ease his pain by giving herself to him and after several minutes he suddenly pulls back to look down at her with tortured eyes. He is breathing harshly and his eyes scan her face, dwelling on her bleeding lip and his expression softens. When his eyes return to hers his anger and frustration are gone.

"Pepper…"

This time when he kisses her his lips are soft and he kisses her with a tenderness she can't deny. Teasing and tantalizing her with a promise of love. She wants desperately to believe his promise and moans softly as she again invites his exploration. This time, his kisses express only love and longing. As he kisses her again and the fires of passion race along their veins until they are trembling with desire.

Suddenly there is a knock on his door and Pepper jerks away from his hold as sanity crashes in on them both. She stumbles and can't catch her breath as she collapses into a chair, grateful because her legs refuse to support her. Bill stares intently at her until the knock sounds again and he takes several deep breaths before he calmly calls out.

"Yes, come in…"

Pepper keeps her face averted until she can get her emotions back under control. Joe opens the door and stops immediately, sensing he just interrupted something. He looks from Bill's tense control to Pepper's trembling hands and then back to Bill as he grins knowingly. Bill scowls and Joe quickly erases the grin as he clears his throat and pretends nothing happened.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I was about to take off for the day."

"What do you need, Joe?"

"Actually I was looking for Sgt. Anderson, here. Can I talk to you for a minute, Pepper?"

"Sure, Joe. What can I do for you?"

"It's actually Harriett. She wanted me to remind you that she needs those measurements before she can continue."

"Oh, ok. I'll just get them from my office. I'll be right back."

She hurries out of the room avoiding eye contact with both men. She is glad for the chance to get away and compose herself. Her thoughts are so jumbled she has to stop and let her nerves settle before she can even remember what she came back to her office to get.

Meanwhile, back in Bill's office Joe is staring at him intently, trying to decide what he interrupted. He can't help torturing Bill a little and closes the office door as he walks up to him and innocently asks, "You all right, Bill? You look a little tense."

"I'm fine. It's just that damned investigation thing."

Joe can hear the nervousness in his voice and smiles as he steps closer to tease, "What kind of investigation were you doing anyway?"

"You know what investigation, Joe."

"Oh, yea. I was just wondering, 'cause it looks like your 'investigation' just left lipstick on you."

Joe's finger darts out to wipe a small spot of red lipstick from Bill's lip. He examines it and then shows it to Bill as he winks at him and teases again.

"Better be a little more careful with your 'investigation' Sgt. Crowley, or someone might find out about it."

Bill is furious that he is teasing him and spins away from him as he stomps around his desk to put some distance between them. He quickly wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and then turns on Joe, threatening him in a low growl.

"I swear to God, Joe, if you breathe one word of this to anyone… I'll kill you where you stand!"

Joe takes a moment to remove the lipstick from his finger, then innocently raises his hands in surrender and grins back, not intimidated by the threat in the least.

"Me? I know nothing, I see nothing… just don't forget to invite me to the wedding, okay?"

Joe is laughing as Bill points his angry finger at him again, but he doesn't get a chance to reply as Pepper returns. She has her composure back and has touched up her hair and lipstick. She calmly looks from one to the other before she turns to Joe.

"Here you go, Joe."

"Great. Harriett also said to invite you over tomorrow night for dinner. That way she can fit the pattern to you."

"Okay, seven all right?"

"Sure. Hey, I just had an idea. Bill, why don't you come along too? That would give me

someone to talk to while these silly females do their sewing stuff all night."

Bill knows Joe is only suggesting this to torment him, but he doesn't dare refuse for fear of making Pepper think something is wrong. He takes a deep breath and calmly nods his consent.

"Sure, if you don't think I'd be in the way?"

He answers Joe's question, but his eyes are on Pepper when he asks this. He sees the surprise in her eyes and knows she can't refuse for the same reason.

"No… we… Joe can be a pest while we're trying to work."

"Great. Then I'll expect you both around seven tomorrow night."

He is grinning from ear to ear as he turns to go. Bill and Pepper just stand there staring at each other in stunned silence, neither knowing what to say.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Joe can hardly wait to get home and tell his wife what happened at the office today. He has always secretly thought Bill and Pepper would make a great couple, but they just never seemed to have that spark. They had always been just friends… that is until today. When he opened that door today he'd known instantly he had interrupted an intense scene. He knew Harriett would be equally excited about this news because she also thought they would be perfect together. When he tells her she is very excited and agrees to help him play matchmaker tomorrow night when they come over for dinner. the plan will have to be top secret because both Bill and Pepper are too stubborn to allow themselves to be manipulated.

So, when Saturday night rolls around Joe and Harriett have formulated a plan and are waiting to spring it on their two unsuspecting friends. Bill is the first to arrive and Joe pretends to have forgotten all about the scene in his office yesterday. He gets Bill a beer and goes about lighting the grill. He starts cleaning it off when the doorbell rings again. He holds up his dirty hands as he indicates the door.

"Bill, can you get that? My hands are dirty and Harriett is still upstairs getting ready."

"Sure."

He goes to let Pepper in, but when he opens the front door he is surprised by the jolt of awareness that rushes through him at the sight of her. She seems shy and hesitates as Bill softly greets her.

"Hi."

"Hi."

They stand in the doorway and neither has anything to say, but they seem reluctant to go inside and join the others. Bill knows he needs to say something about his lapse in control in his office yesterday.

"I… I ahh…missed our usual Friday night together."

"Yea, me too, but I figured under the circumstances it was best if we didn't spend too much time together… alone."

"Yea. Look, Pepper, I'm sorry about what happened in my office. I was upset and…"

"Please, don't apologize. I know why it happened."

She looks down and hurries past him so he won't say anything else to remind her of what almost happened again. Bill feels bad because she has the wrong impression of what happened. He doesn't want her thinking that he only kissed her because he was upset over the investigation. Before he can explain she is gone and he decides to take her aside later and explain the real reason to her. Bill follows her inside and joins the others on the patio as they all help in the dinner preparations. Bill doesn't get another chance to speak to her privately.

At about nine-o-clock Harriett finds Bill and Joe on the patio smoking cigars and drinking beer. She holds open the door and calls out to them, setting the next stage of their plan in to action.

"Joe, can you guys come in a moment and give me your opinions? We're working on that dress for your niece, and I can't hold the folds and get a good look at the dress at the same time."

"Sure, honey. Come on, Bill. We get to play fashion advisor."

Bill grimaces, but follows them inside. They go upstairs to the sewing room and Bill is the last one to enter. Harriett goes back to where Pepper is standing on a pedestal, wearing a beautiful satin and lace wedding gown. Bill stops in mid-step, stunned by her beauty as their eyes meet. She blushes and looks away as Harriett again pulls the folds into place and innocently asks for their opinion.

"So what do you think? Do these folds make her waist look bigger or smaller?"

"I think she looks beautiful. Don't you, Bill?"

Bill is too choked up to speak and merely nods and takes a long gulp of his beer. Harriett innocently continues fussing with the folds at her waist, ignoring the tension between them as she chatters on about their project.

"I'm making this dress for my niece, but Pepper was nice enough to model it for me since they're the same size."

Joe can't resist tormenting them a little more and grabs Bill by the arm as he drags him closer to examine a fold in the dress, drawing Bill's attention to the way it drapes seductively from her full breasts, down to her small flat belly.

"Bill, don't you think that fold makes her waist look… poofy?"

Bill's eyes flow slowly from Pepper's blushing face, down over her well-accented breasts, to her flat waist and time seems to stand still. Finally his eyes again drift back up to find Pepper watching him. Their eyes meet with secret meaning and Bill has to force himself to speak calmly as he clears his throat and replies as casually as he can.

"No… not at all. I think she looks perfect."

Pepper's breath catches in her throat as he speaks this directly to her. She sees the fire burning in his eyes and feels flustered and faint as she again averts her gaze. She is embarrassed, fearing the others may have caught the hidden message in his words. What she doesn't know is that her rosy cheeks only add to the beauty of the image she portrays. Bill is spellbound by her and can't seem to move until Joe casually pats him on the back and puts an end to the intense moment.

"Well, I guess we can go get another beer, buddy. This opinion stuff is hard work."

"Yea."

Joe ushers him from the room and still has his hand on his shoulder as they descend the stairs together.

Joe can't help but tease him as he lowers his voce to ask, "She does make a beautiful bride, doesn't she, Bill?"

"Yea… damn it, Joe! Don't start that with me!" Bill slaps his hand away and stomps off ahead of him, scowling angrily as he realizes Joe is hinting at more than the dress.

"I was just making an observation, Bill, calm down."

Bill scowls angrily at Joe before he stomps off towards the patio. Joe laughs at his obvious frustration, having the satisfaction of knowing their plan went off perfectly. He lets Bill regain his composure while he goes to work on phase two of their plan.

About an hour later Pepper and Harriett return. This time Pepper is in her own clothes and she is much calmer. They find the men sitting on the patio again. Pepper has an urge to snuggle up next to Bill as he relaxes in the lawn chair, but she forces these feelings down, realizing how sensitive she is to his every move. She doesn't dare stay here any longer and declines the seat offered to her as she makes up an excuse to leave.

"I'm kind of tired. I think I'll just head on home."

"Are you sure you won't stay a while?"

"No, I better not."

As she says this her gaze drifts to Bill who is studying her intently. Again a secret message passes between them and he knows the real reason she is leaving. He suddenly stands.

"I'll walk you out."

She can't refuse without sounding suspicious so she just turns to go. Bill follows silently until they are alone beside her car. As she opens her car door Bill gently touches her arm.

"Pepper, I need to explain something..." She turns to look up at him as she leans against her car. After a moment Bill softly says, "I think you misunderstood me earlier. On the porch… when I said that I kissed you because I was upset… that's not why I did it."

"I know. We both know why it happened. I was as much to blame as you. Until now I've pretended that we could just go back to the way things used to be. After what happened yesterday I know I was just deceiving myself. It'll always be there, Bill, under the surface … waiting to take control again."

"Pepper…"

"No, please, I just want to go home, Bill. I'll see you at work on Monday and we'll discuss it then."

He feels as if she's just torn his heart out, but there isn't anything he can do about it. He wants to grab her and hold her close until she changes her mind. Instead he just watches in mute frustration as she gets in her car and tries to start it. The car groans over and over, but won't start and Pepper finally slaps the steering wheel and sighs heavily as she opens her door again.

"My car is dead. I'll see if Joe can give me a ride home."

She gets out and is starting to walk past him when he suddenly grabs her by the arm and slams her car door, spinning her around to face him.

"Damn it, Pepper, that's nonsense! I go right past your place on my way home. I'll drop you off."

"No, really…"

"Pepper, it's late and we're both tired… so stop arguing and get in the car. I'm taking you home."

He firmly escorts her to his car and then puts her roughly into the passenger seat. He all but slams the door and she jumps at the aggressive motion. He has barely gotten in behind the wheel when Pepper indignantly confronts his actions.

"Bill! I can't just leave my car here without an explanation to Joe and Harriett. What will they think?"

"I don't think they'll jump to the 'wrong' conclusion, Pepper. Just call them in the morning and explain that your car wouldn't start so I gave you a ride home. I'm sure Joe will have your car running by the time you call tomorrow."

Bill is angry because it is just dawning on him what Joe probably did to her car in his attempt to get them together for the drive home. He wouldn't put something that sneaky past his friend.

Pepper is sulking silently as Bill drives off and heads across town towards her house. They don't speak to each other the entire drive and Pepper lays her head back, closing her eyes, as she tries to ignore him. She drifts off to sleep on the way and half an hour later Bill parks in her driveway. He looks over her peaceful face and tousled hair for a moment before he turns in his seat to gently brush back the stray strands. She stirs and opens her eyes slowly, confused as she focuses on him in the darkness.

He smiles tenderly and softly says, "You know, you were beautiful in that dress tonight."

Pepper is flustered and sit's up nervously as the alarm bells go off in her head. To cover her agitated state she offers a lame excuse. "I was just doing Harriett a favor… that's all."

She refuses to look at him, but she knows he is smiling as he gets out to come around and open her door. She tries to sound casual as she gets out, not wanting to offend him.

"You don't need to bother, Bill. I can find my way to my own front door."

"I know you can, but my mama raised me to be a gentleman."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I guess I'm just tired."

They walk to her door in silence and she fumbles for the right key. After several moments Bill holds out his hand for the keys and she sighs heavily and hands them to him. With an ease that irritates her, he finds the right key and easily unlocks her door. He turns to face her as he tries to hide a smile at her frustrated expression. She sees his grin and poutingly tries to explain.

"It's not funny. It's just dark… and I'm tired and…"

As she fumbles for the right words to explain her nervousness he studies her closely. She is very aware of him and her words finally die in her suddenly dry mouth as she looks away from him nervously. He slowly holds out her keys for her to take as he steps closer to her.

"And you're scared to death I might kiss you goodnight, aren't you?"

"No… why would I be? I'm not… I never thought… you... you'd…. k.. kiss me… are you?"

She is so flustered that she looks helplessly at her hands for a long moment as her breath comes in shaky gasps. Her cheeks are flushed and hot as her heart pounds erratically. Bill smiles and gently places his fingers under her chin, urging her to look up at him. The moonlight glows in her eyes as he holds her gaze and huskily answers her.

"Yes… I are."

She gasps softly and shakes her head, but his mouth descends on hers. Bill holds her chin steady as his lips claim hers. Her hands move to his chest, in a position to push him away, but unable to do so as she once again gives in to her body's demand. His kisses are gentle and searching at first, but once he feels her melt against him he demands more. She longs to give in to his insistent mouth and moans softly as she reaches into the kisses with a need too long denied.

They spend long minutes kissing, but when his hands pull her closer she panics. She reaches behind her and opens her door, stepping away from him as she breaks the kiss. He looks at her questioningly as she steps into the threshold nervously. He catches her hand, stopping her from closing the door on him and when she turns back to face him he can see the indecision in her eyes. He is reluctant to let her go, but afraid of what she will say as they stare deep into each other's eyes. His thumb gently strokes across her inner wrist and she trembles as she takes a deep breath.

"Come inside…"

Her hand closes over his and he looks down at the smaller hand in his own. When he hears her words his eyes come back up and he is surprised to see the fear is gone. His heart is pounding painfully as he wonders if he heard her correctly. After a long tense moment he clarifies her intention... just so there is no mistake.

"Pepp… I want this more than anything, but I'll go if you want me to."

She smiles and takes a deep breath to calm the tremors of anticipation racing through her as she meets his gaze. Suddenly it is all clear to her and she tugs on his hand and gives him her answer.

"I want this too… come here."

He hesitates and she slowly raises his hand to her lips and kisses his fingertips tenderly. His eyes never leave hers as she slowly backs into her house, pulling him inside with her. Bill can't believe this is happening, afraid to speak for fear of breaking the spell. He slowly closes the door behind him, shutting them alone in their own world.

In the darkness he feels her hand curl up around his neck as she stands on tiptoe to bring her lips back to his. Bill slumps back against the door frame, bringing himself down to her height as he pulls her soft body into the circle of his arms. Her mouth searches his with a need he can't deny as he takes the sweetness she offers. There is an urgency to their caresses as her desire finally overrides her fears and she gives in to the man she has wanted for so long.

Bill forces himself to keep a tight rein on his raging desire in order to savor every moment of this fantasy come true. In finally freeing herself to indulge in the pleasure of loving him, she feels a passion burning stronger than ever. Her hands explore his body excitedly as her lips flutter hotly over his jaw to his ear. Her tongue darts teasingly along it's lines as Bill moans huskily and kisses a wet trail down her throat to the sensitive area at its base. He is bent to her height, but can't relax in this position.

"Not here…"

He suddenly swings her up into his arms and slowly walks into the den where he finds his way to the large pile of floor pillows in front of the fireplace. Although it is dark he knows his way around and gently lays her down on the overstuffed cushions. He lies beside her as she presses a hidden button and the fire jumps to life by their heads. When Pepper looks at him he half expects to see the old rejection there, but smiles when all he sees is her desire. She slowly reaches out to him, but instead of drawing him nearer she simply begins to unbutton his shirt. He waits patiently until she pushes his shirt off his broad shoulders and then helps her to remove it. She gently urges him to lie back and begins a casual exploration of his muscled chest. She trails her fingers through the dark matt of curling hairs, causing him to shiver before they follow the path lower. Her lips are drawn to his skin as she kisses the same path her fingers had taken. Her lips stop at the waistband of his levis and his breath catches in his throat. She easily unzips them and releases the throbbing pressure within.

Bill slips his levis off and then leans up on one arm to face her as he again kisses her deeply. Pepper can feel him tremble as her hand glides down the length of his erect shaft in a gentle caress. She moans in approval and hungrily draws his tongue into her mouth. He groans as she again urges him to lie back, but resists by turning his attention to removing her clothing. He kisses a trail along her throat to the first of several delicate buttons. He easily maneuvers them with his tongue, leaving her anticipating what other pleasures his talented mouth can bring her.

Once her clothing has been discarded Bill stops to take in her full naked beauty for the first time. She lies back on the pillows looking sexier than any woman he has ever seen. His eyes travel slowly over her until they finally return to hers and he huskily whispers, "God, you're beautiful."

He reaches out almost timidly to trail one finger slowly down the valley between her breasts to her belly. His fingers circle lazily down to the curling hairs below and Pepper's breath seems to come in shallow gasps as she trembles at his touch. His hand moves higher again to caress her breast with more confidence and she moans as he cups one; using his thumb to tease its peak. The nipple hardens to his touch and he lowers his mouth to replace his hand.

Pepper cries out softly and arches herself up to him until she can no longer stand this exquisite torture. Bill rolls his weight against her, forcing her down into the pillows as he kisses her with such passion that takes her breath away. Each kiss melts into another of deeper intensity as he caresses her with his hand. Her legs part to his gentle expertise. She moans pleadingly as she urges him to lie over her.

He fights hard to control his own desire and concentrates on bringing her pleasure. His arms curl under her to lift her up to his demanding kisses as his tongue searches out her very soul. Pepper again arches up to him as she moans pleadingly, but he merely teases her by rubbing his hot shaft along her. He finally breaks the kiss to lower his mouth to her taut breast and she arches back in surrender, moaning softly until she is squirming beneath him in an agony of need.

"Bill, please… I need you…"

He trembles at the sultry words breathed against his ear and pulls back far enough to look into her eyes. He can't stop the words that come huskily to his lips. "I love you…"

After a long moment of emotional awareness his mouth again claims her in a slow sensual kiss that expresses all of his love. Pepper is so overwhelmed by the depth of his kisses that when he slowly eases into her the sensation causes an explosion of pleasure that leaves her trembling. She breaks the kiss to pant softly as his hard shaft fills her. Bill lies motionless for several long moments, his own excitement spiraling as he feels her trembling in ecstasy.

Her canal grips him tightly and he lowers his mouth to her ear as he roughly whispers,

"Oohh, baby… you're so perfect…"

He kisses the pulse along her throat and begins to move slow and easy in her. Arching in ways he knows will please her as she meets his thrusts perfectly. He kisses her, controlling her world, taking her closer and closer to that soaring abyss where the entire world stops momentarily. After several minutes she moans as the tidal wave of pleasure once again builds to an unbearable level, but he holds her there. They are drowning in the intense waves of sheer pleasure coursing through them. When Pepper can't stand it any longer she arches her head back, gasping for breath as her nails curl into his tight arms.

Bill understands and buries his face in the softness of her hair, his teeth roughly grip her shoulder as he rides the tidal wave into the mindless ecstasy. After several seconds he whimpers softly and releases his grip on her shoulder as his body collapses, totally drained. After a moment he realizes she isn't breathing.

Her heart is hammering wildly as he nuzzles her ear and whispers, "Breathe, sweetheart…"


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Sometime after midnight Bill is standing in Pepper's kitchen, wearing only a towel, as he looks for a corkscrew. With a cold bottle of wine in one hand, he curses softly and looks in yet another drawer. Pepper appears in the doorway behind him and smiles as she watches him scrounging.

"Next drawer over."

"What are you doing here? I was going to bring it back to the spa."

"I know, but I missed you."

Bill stops in the process of opening the bottle and turns to her with a warm smile. He takes her hand in his and kisses it tenderly as he draws her to him. He then kisses her lips just as tenderly.

"Good. That means my mind control is working."

"Is that what you call it? Mind control?"

"Yup."

Pepper wraps her arms around his waist, snuggling in next to his warmth as she sighs happily. "Well whatever you call it… it works."

She gently kisses his shoulder. He enjoys her caress for a moment before effortlessly lifting her onto the counter beside him. He surveys her attire and grins as he comments on it.

"Just for the record… you wearing nothing but my shirt works for me. You look very sexy, did you know that?"

"I can just imagine. Do you realize you've made love to me five times in three hours?"

He rests a hand on either side of her bare legs, flat on the counter to give her his full attention. Leaning in close he kisses her gently before he asks, "Is this a complaint?"

"No, I'm just amazed. Are you always this… full of energy?"

"Only where you're concerned, baby."

He leans closer and kisses her with a renewed passion and she sighs happily as she wraps her arms around his neck. Pepper feels an answering passion swell within her and seductively wraps her legs around his waist. After several minutes of kissing Bill finally pulls back to huskily scold her.

"You're distracting me. I'm supposed to be getting the wine. You just sit there and look beautiful while you tell me where the wine glasses are."

"Over there."

She points to a cabinet across the room and when he turns to get them she lifts the bottle of wine to her lips and takes a sip. He turns back, catching her in the act and laughs as he holds out the glasses to her. She fills them half full and then sets the bottle aside. He takes a long drink of his wine as she allows her eyes to roam down his body and back up.

"If I could bottle your sexy body I'd make a million dollars in a day."

"Sorry, I'm only available for one woman. Now, is there anything else?"

"Yes, I'm hungry."

"I thought I told you to behave yourself."

She laughs at his comical scowl, tapping his nose as she clarifies, "I mean for food. I have some strawberries in the fridge that would go great with this wine."

He gets the bowl of berries and brings it back to her. He takes one berry and eats half before he holds the other half up to her lips. She sensuously takes the berry and his fingertips into her mouth. She sucks on them for a moment and a shiver runs through him. He traces her lips with his wet fingertip as he studies her. Suddenly his mouth swoops down to claim hers in a hungry, demanding kiss that makes her weak. They spend long minutes feeding each other berries and drinking wine in between long passionate kisses.

Bill's need for her is hard and throbbing, as his hands slide possessively up her thighs to curl under her butt. He slides her to the edge of the counter where he presses his hips to her sex. She eagerly complies by wrapping her legs around his waist as he holds her close and kisses a trail along her exposed shoulder and throat. They are both breathing heavily now and crave the addiction again. Pepper's head tips back to allow him access to her sensitive throat as she huskily encourages him.

"Love me…"

His stormy eyes raise to meet hers and he holds her gaze captive as he lifts her body to his and huskily replies, "Always…"

Her hands frame his face as she guides his mouth to her own. Her tongue probes softly in search of his and he growls roughly as his arms tighten around her soft body. When she finally breaks the kiss to look into his dark eyes she breathlessly orders, "Now…"

Needing no further instruction Bill lifts her slightly as his towel falls away and he lowers her onto his shaft. He trembles as he feels her tongue strokes inside and Bill loses the small amount of self control he had left. Their eyes meet and she can see the almost savage desire that controls him. Her lips cling to his as she begs for the release only he can give her. Their kisses become wild and frantic as her hands flutter possessively over his torso, fanning his fire. As their passion grows he cradles her against him and pushes her back until she is lying cradled in his arms on the counter. Leaning over her now with his hands supporting her head, his mouth lowers to her breasts and he mauls them hungrily as his hips suddenly cease their powerful movement.  
She is trembling with excitement as she draws her knees up high along his back and breathlessly pleads, "Bill… please…"

He groans happily as he now brings his mouth back to hers and kisses her long and hard. When he finally let's her catch her breath he roughly growls against her throat. "God… you feel so good…"

She can only whimper breathlessly as she gives in to the rising cascade inside her. He can't contain the pressure within him any longer and groans huskily as he rams into her one last time and then goes rigid. After several seconds he trembles and collapses on her, completely drained as she holds him close and pants softly in the aftermath. Bill is breathing raggedly and she is connected to him like never before. No man has ever made her feel so good or so special and without a doubt she loves this man. They have now made love six times in four hours and she can't keep the happy grin off her face.

When their eyes meet he sees only a sleepy satisfied smile as she teases, "I think I'm addicted to you."

He chuckles huskily and strokes her hair back from her face. "That's because we were made for each other. I've waited my whole life for you, sweetheart."

"So you could ravage my body?"

"So I could love you and make you happy. That's all I want to do."

"I definitely feel loved. I won't be able to walk in the morning, but I'm definitely happy. No one has ever made me feel the way you do."

There is a long silence as she searches his eyes for some hint that this is all just a dream. When all she sees is his love for her she smiles and teases him. "I just have to remember not to feed you strawberries in public."

Bill merely winks devilishly and they both laugh as they remember what led to this intense lovemaking session. Bill's arms are stiff from supporting her and he can see she is tired. He kisses her chin suggests, "What do you say I take you to bed, beautiful?"

"And start all over again?"

"I just want to hold you in my arms and sleep. You've worn me out."

He stands up and helps her to sit up as he steps back from her. His eyes roam over her slowly before he swings her up into his arms and heads for the bedroom.

"Unless you keep my shirt on. Then I may have to attack you again."

"Maybe you should bring all your shirts over here."

"I just might do that. Get the light."

He positions her foot near the switch and she flips it off with her toe as they leave the room. Bill carries her through the dark house to her bedroom as she lays her head on his shoulder. Bill kisses her brow as the image of her in the wedding dress pops into his head. He imagines carrying her over the threshold on their wedding day and as he lays her on her bed he is glad for the darkness so she can't see the emotion in his eyes. He climbs in beside her and hooks his arm around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. She fit's against him naturally and sighs with contentment as they lie together enjoying the warmth until they drift off to sleep.

******

Pepper is slow to wake and clings to a romantic dream of dancing to a slow sexy song. She is half awake when she feels a weight across her belly and runs her hand along it. It is Bill's arm and memories of the night before come back to her. She opens her eyes to find Bill sleeping beside her, peaceful and content. She smiles, a twinge of excitement races through her. She watches him sleeping for several minutes, thinking he looks younger than he has before. She doesn't want to wake him so she carefully lifts his arm and slips out from under it.

Once she is up she stretches gracefully and feels her sore muscles protest. She is somewhat sore after two years alone. Again her smile broadens and she heads for the shower. Here she blushes at her reflection in the mirror, examining the glow on her cheeks and the reddish bruises on her shoulder and breast. She quickly showers and puts on a short satin robe before silently leaving Bill to sleep in peace. Before she closes the door she glances back one last time at Bill, sleeping soundly. Her pulse jumps again at his handsome image and she sighs and leaves him alone.

As she walks towards the kitchen she passes the den and she pauses to look at the floor pillows where they had lain. She smiles and continues on. In the hallway she sees the front door where their night of love started. Upon entering the kitchen she stops as a hot flash rushes through her at the mess here. It brings back intense memories and she scolds herself as she starts to clean up. She'll never be able to walk around her house without recalling this fantastic night of love. She hums to herself, unable to contain her joy this morning as she cleans up and goes about making coffee. She knows she's acting like a love-struck school girl, but she can't help it. When the coffee is ready she forces herself to calm down by telling herself this has only complicated her life.

By the time she finishes cleaning up and had her first cup of coffee she has her emotions under control again. She still smiles happily as she puts a tray together with two cups of coffee and heads back to her bedroom. The next few days will bring a lot of changes for them both and she is afraid of those complications, but she also needs them in order to get on with her life. Her only worry comes in knowing she must convince Bill that she has to leave the unit now. She knows he won't agree, but she can't allow things to continue as long as they work together.

As she passes the den she hears a beep and realizes Bill's pager is going off. She grabs it on the way back to her room. She pushes the door open to find Bill sitting up in bed looking worried. She sets the tray on the foot of the bed.

"What's wrong? You look worried."

"I woke up and you were gone. I… I thought you left… or …"

"I did. I went to make coffee. Remember, I live here."

Bill is still sleepy and embarrassed that she is teasing him because he was worried. He looks down as he turns to sit on the edge of the bed, swinging his strong bare legs out where she can see them. Pepper admires his dark good looks as he fumbles to explain.

"I know… I just… I thought…"

"You thought it may have all just been a dream, right?"

"Well… yea, something like that."

He still won't look at her and she smiles at his little boy shyness now. She comes to sit beside him and gently turns his chin until their eyes meet.

"Hey, I'm here and I know how you feel. Last night was so perfect it must have been a dream. A wonderful dream… that is until I went into the kitchen and found wine and strawberries all over the place."

He relaxes and grins at her as he shrugs helplessly and apologizes, "Sorry, did I make a mess?"

"No, we made a mess, but I think we made more than that."

They both laugh and she leans in to kiss him lightly before she turns to get the coffee. She hands him a cup and then goes to sit on her side of the bed, leaning back on the headboard beside him. They sit in a peaceful silence sipping coffee, lost in their own thoughts. Bill is unsure what will happen next, but he won't be able to step back into her 'friends only' routine now. Last night she gave herself to him and she is his from that point on and he isn't about to give her up. He must be patient with her fears and allow her as much time as she needs to realize he is the only man for her.

His thoughts are interrupted by his pager beeping again on the tray again. "Oh, I forgot, your pager was beeping when I went by the den."

He reaches for it and reads the unfamiliar number. He doesn't know who it is, but it must be important. "Do you have a phone in here? I don't know this number, but it must be important. Whoever it is paged me three times in twenty minutes."

"Sure. Over there."

Bill doesn't hesitate to walk naked across the room and Pepper has to take several deep breaths to control her pounding heart. She tries not to listen, but she can see it's a serious call from his responses. She overhears him say he'll be there in an hour and hang up. He sighs heavily before he comes to sit by her again. This time he leans over her legs so they are face to face and studies her for a long moment.

"Please don't hate me, but I've got to go. That was Captain Clayton on the phone. There's been some kind of emergency involving Lt. Baker."

"Bill, I understand work. It's okay."

"No it's not, but you probably need some time away from me to think about all this anyway. If I stay here you know what will happen."

He arches his brow suggestively and she rolls her eyes and laughs, "Well maybe this is a good thing then. I'm sore enough the way it is…"

"Baby, why didn't you tell me? I didn't mean to overdo it."

She is touched by his concern and knows that if she had said something he would have stopped. She gently strokes her hand along his scruffy jaw and seriously admits.

"You didn't, Bill. It's just that I haven't made love to a man in over two years. Then last night… I think we set a new record. Six times in one night has got to be a record."

"I'm sorry, Pepp."

"Don't apologize, Bill. I needed you last night and you were everything I wanted and more. Besides, if I remember correctly I brought this on myself."

"Yea, with a little help."

He is thinking about Joe and Harriett's interference last night and makes a mental note to confront Joe about screwing up Pepper's car. For now he says nothing, knowing Pepper would just worry about other people knowing about them. He leans in to kiss her warmly and his lips are gentle yet insistent as she sighs and gives in to him. They are not touching, but their bodies tremble in anticipation once again. After several long minutes of slow kisses he forces himself to sit back and his eyes are smoky with desire.

"What spell did you cast over me, woman?"

"Top secret. Very potent stuff."

"If I didn't have to leave I'd show you just how potent it is, too."

He pulls her to him and growls playfully against her neck as she squeals and laughs while trying to push him away. "Bill, stop it! Quit!"

He finally pulls back to look into her laughing eyes, but doesn't release her as he quietly asks, "Have I told you how sexy you are in the morning?"

"No, and I don't believe you either. I know what I look like in the morning."

"You look good enough to eat. Did you know that?"

"Stop it! You have to get going, remember?"

"I'm going, but I have to have one more kiss first."

This time when he draws her mouth up to his he kisses her with such a deep intense emotion that it takes her breath away and she loses herself in the caress. One kiss blends into another as he presses her back into the pillows and lays over her. They spend long minutes just kissing and touching until he finally pulls back.

"I love you, Pepper."

She is on the verge of answering him, but something makes her stop as she feels a twinge of old fear again. He sees the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes and understands. He doesn't want to put her on the spot so he quickly covers by smiling as he continues.

"I know, I know… I'm going since you're kicking me out."

"Blame it on Clayton… now get your butt in the shower."

"Shower with me."

"No way. It'll be noon before you get out of here if I do that."

She pushes him back and he sighs and heads for the bathroom as he protests that he'll behave himself. She calls after him that it isn't him she is worried about. Once the door closes behind him she sighs heavily and wonders what ever made her think she could make this work. After only one night he was already declaring love for her which she is sure is nothing but hormones.

She gets up and goes to get his clothes for him. When she picks up his shirt she sees the large red stain on it and sighs. Then she remembers that he left some of his laundry here last time and goes to get him a clean shirt. She dresses quickly so there won't be any more temptation and has his clothes laid out when he emerges looking very sexy with his clean shaven face and wet hair slicked back. She leaves him to dress and takes their coffee cups out to the kitchen.

He knows she is already starting to regret their night together and curses the timing which is making him leave her right now. He would give anything to be able to stay here, holding her in his arms until she admits she loves him too. When he is dressed he finds her in the kitchen. He walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, drawing her back against his chest as he kisses her temple tenderly. His hand comes up to cup her breast and she moans softly as a tingle runs through her. She allows him to kiss her throat several times before she reins in his passion.

"Bill…"

"I gotta go, Pepp."

"I know."

"I'll miss you, babe."

"I'll be thinking about you too."

"Just do me one favor today?"

"What?"

He turns her to face him and she can see that he is dead serious as he studies her for a moment. "Please don't decide you hate me until we've had a chance to talk, okay? I know once I'm gone you'll start to doubt us and wonder if this is right. Just promise me you'll talk to me before you decide?"

"I promise."

He kisses her one last time before he turns abruptly and hurries from the room. He saw the pain in her eyes and if she had said another word he would have forgotten all about his meeting and stayed with her. He is afraid she'll regret their night together and turn him away. He never wants to let her out of his sight until he can convince her their love will overcome any obstacle.

Back in her kitchen Pepper is still standing there staring at the door he closed behind him when he left. She is very confused and wonders what she's gotten herself into this time. She saw the determination in his eyes and it scares her, even when deep inside she knows he would never hurt her. He has never lied about the fact that he loves her, but his attitude this morning makes her remember another man who tried to tell her what to do, what to say and what to think. It's too late to tell herself not to love him and she sighs heavily as she realizes she is in for another major heartache if she can't convince him she needs to leave the unit as soon as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

Bill's meeting with Captain Clayton is much more serious than he had imagined. Now, standing there in the hospital waiting room Bill let's it all sink in. Lt. Baker, his boss, has suffered a major heart attack early this morning and isn't expected to survive much longer. He is in the critical care unit on life support after an emergency heart bypass operation. Captain Clayton had come to comfort the family, but needed to get the ball rolling so there was no disruption at work tomorrow. After some thought he decided Bill was the best person to step in and take over as acting lieutenant until Baker either recovered or had to be replaced. Clayton had no doubts Bill can run the unit, but he isn't so sure about Pepper Anderson. She's only been in the unit for two years and he hasn't heard much about her abilities.

"Bill, do you have any questions?"

"No, not really."

"Do you think Pepper will be able to step up and take over your spot?"

"Oh, she can handle it all right. She'll probably show me up and take my job in the process."

"I'm sure you've taught her well and she'll do fine. Just keep an eye on things for me, all right?"

"Sure, boss. Is there anything else? I want to get into the office and make the arrangements before Monday morning rolls around."

"No, that's all… and thanks, Bill. With any luck and God's help Jesse will pull through this."

"Yea, I'll stop in to see Mary on my way out."

Bill leaves the hospital after speaking with Lt. Baker's wife briefly. He is both saddened and anxious about this recent turn of events as he drives directly to the office. He has a lot to do, but he can't keep his mind from wondering back to Pepper and the worry he'd seen in her eyes this morning. He's afraid the next time he sees her, she'll be back to her old ideas that they can't be involved. After tasting the sweetness she offered him he can never go back to just being her friend now. A knot twists in his gut when he thinks about losing her. His initial reaction is to rush back and force her to admit she loves him, but that would only scare her off and he won't let that happen.

Once in the office he tries to call her, but there is no answer so he sighs heavily and gets to work re-arranging the unit personnel until this crisis with Lt. Baker is resolved. It is afternoon when Bill hears a tap on his door and looks up to see Joe standing there.

"What are you doing here on a Sunday, Joe?"

"I could ask you the same question. I got a tip from my snitch and I wanted to follow up on it as soon as possible. The deal for two hundred pounds of weed might come together tomorrow morning if this pans out."

"Good, let me know…or Pepper as soon as possible, okay?"

"Sure. So what are you doing here? Nothing else to do on a Sunday morning?"

"Clayton paged me this morning and until further notice I'm the acting lieutenant for Baker. He suffered a massive heart attack and they don't know if he's going to make it."

"That's too bad. I hope he makes it. He's a good guy."

"Yea, but until we know for sure, Pepper will be doing my job and I'm doing his."

Joe steps into the room and plops down on the small couch with a sly smile on his face as he casually asks the question they've both been avoiding.

"Speaking of Sgt. Anderson, did she make it home all right last night?"

"Yes."

Bill refuses to look at Joe as his suspicions about her vehicle tampering are confirmed. Bill continues to stare at the screen of his computer, determined not to let him know that his plan worked…. better than he could have ever imagined.

"You left without a word so I could only hope you'd taken her home when I found her car was still there this morning. Was there something wrong with her car?"

"Cut the crap, Joe. The only thing you better hope is that I don't tell Pepper you tampered with her car just to entertain your perverted sense of humor."

"Me? How can you say that?"

"Ok, how about both you and Harriett? Is that more accurate?"

Joe can't keep a straight face as he breaks into laughter. He knows Bill is on to their matchmaking plan. "So? Did it work?"

"I don't know what you mean, Joe."

"You know damned well what I mean. I saw your face when you walked into that sewing room. Man, I could have knocked you over with a feather!"

"Just your imagination."

"Sure it was. I almost had to take a cold shower after watching all that sexual tension flying between you and Pepper. I thought you were going to propose right there on the spot. All that satin and lace… the perfect blushing bride, huh?"

Bill feels his pulse jump as Joe's words force the image of Pepper in the wedding gown into his head. He is angry that Joe is teasing him and slams his fist down on the desk as he stands up abruptly.

"One more word, Joe… and I swear I'll…"

He doesn't finish as he sees the satisfied grin on Joe's face and realizes he just gave Joe his answer. He turns away to go pour himself a cup of coffee and regain his composure. After several minutes he returns to his seat and finds Joe still watching him carefully. He ignores him and sits down to work again.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"Fine." Joe also goes to get a cup of coffee as Bill pretends to study his computer screen. Again several minutes of silence stretch between them until Joe returns to perch on the edge of his desk.

"Come on Bill, I'm your closest friend. Haven't I always been there when you needed someone to talk to? You can trust me. I know she's the one for you, buddy. She can make you happy."

"I'm perfectly happy right now, Joe."

"No you're not. I know you, Bill. You've been in love with Pepper for a long time."

"I have not…." Bill stops his denial as he looks up to see only honest concern in Joe's eyes. He isn't teasing him now and Bill finally sighs and studies his coffee cup as he quietly asks, "Is it that obvious?"

"No, but then I know you better than most. I've seen how you change when she's around. I can't blame you, buddy, she's a beautiful woman."

"Yes she is, but it's more than that, Joe. She's smart and funny and tough all at the same time. She's everything I've ever wanted in a woman."

"So how long are you going to keep on being just friends? I've watched you two ever since she came here and I think she feels the same way about you."

"It's not that simple, Joe."

"It never is, Bill. You just have to want it bad enough to overcome the obstacles."

"I just need to be patient… that's all."

"Patience is fine, my friend, but passion is better. Remember that."

Bill can't stop the flood of vivid memories from last night filling his head and his pulse jumps. His eyes darken in response and Joe sees the change in him, knowing his plan worked now.

He slaps Bill on the shoulder and chuckles, "You're a lucky man, Bill."

"Yea, but you won't be if you dare breathe one word of this to anyone."

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Bill doesn't get a chance to answer before Joe turns to leave. He is walking out the door as Bill finally calls after him, "And get her car running again, you terrorist!"

"Already done."

He can hear Joe laughing as he walks away and Bill just sits there shaking his head and grinning. He knows every man in this unit has had thoughts like that and can't really be angry with them because he's had many himself. He sighs as he realizes how strong her spell is over him, but he isn't complaining. Once they get through this hard time they're going to love each other for the remainder of their lives.

Pepper arrives at work early on Monday morning determined to follow through with her plan. Bill won't be in for another half hour and she wants to have everything ready when he arrives. She didn't get a chance to speak with him again yesterday and although she was relieved to have some time alone she did miss him. She'd hoped he would at least call her when his meeting was over with, but maybe he'd been tied up on other things. She hadn't dared to call him last night for fear that he would think she needed him. She did, but she didn't want him to know… at least, not yet.

Pepper fills out her paperwork and then goes to lay the paper on Lt. Baker's desk down the hall. She returns to her office to read her emails and wait for everyone else to arrive. She tries to work, but is interrupted by Joe knocking on her door.

"Hey, boss. How's the car running?"

"Fine, what are you doing in here so early?"

"I got a good tip on a couple hundred pounds of weed yesterday. I just wanted to get on

it right away."

"Did it check out?"

"Yea, I think it's gonna go this morning. Have you seen Bill yet?"

"No. How soon is the deal and what's the plan?"

"I'd say within the next two hours. I've already set up a buy site. I just need to let one of you know about it."

"Well, tell me all the details and let's get this thing going then."

Joe quickly tells her all about his deal and she listens carefully. They have done hundreds of these buy busts and Joe knows the procedure. She has no doubt it'll go fine, but she gives him a few pointers anyway.

"It sounds like a good deal, Joe. Just make sure you take enough people to get the job done right and call me if there are any changes, ok? I'll brief Bill when he gets in."

"Great. Uh-oh…"

He is standing up to leave when he sees Bill storming down the hallway looking mad enough to kill. He storms into her office with a piece of paper in his hand and Joe quickly steps aside. Bill ignores him as he focuses on Pepper.

"Morning Bill."

Bill just glares at him and he knows it's time to make a quick exit. He closes the door behind him and once Bill and Pepper are alone the tension crackles between them. Pepper knows what this is all about and braces herself for his anger. Bill stands before her desk holding the paper, clenched in his fist as he angrily demands, "What the hell is this, Pepper?"

"It's a transf…."

"I know damned well what it is! I thought we agreed not to make any decisions until after we had a chance to talk… you promised me!"

"Bill, I can explain."

"There's no need to explain… transfer denied!"

She is shocked that he is so angry, but then she should have expected it. History was repeating itself, just like she knew it would. She tries to keep calm as she again tries to explain.

"Bill, you can't be serious. I can transfer if I want to and you… you can't deny my request anyway."

"Just watch me…"

He takes her transfer request and rips it in half before dropping it onto her desk. She stares at the torn pieces and realizes it's happening all over again.. She sighs dejectedly and realizes their love never stood a chance.

"I should have known this would happen… just like last time."

Her quiet words suddenly jolt Bill out of his anger as he realizes he is acting just like that other guy. He turns away from her and paces the room as he takes long, deep breaths to calm down before he tries to explain.

"Pepper, it's not what you think."

"Isn't it? You're already trying to control me and it's only been one damned day!"

"Pepper, it's not like that! Yes, I was angry when I saw that, but…"

"Bill, what right did you have to take my transfer request off the lieutenant's desk anyway?"

"I took it because we agreed to talk before we made any decisions."

She is silent because she did break her promise to him in that regard and she feels guilty for that. She should have talked to him first, but she hadn't seen him until now. Bill finally takes a deep breath and continues in a quieter tone.

"Baby, I'm not trying to control you… that's not why I tore that thing up."

"Really! Since when can a sergeant just deny another's transfer?"

"Since yesterday. Remember the phone call? Captain Clayton called me in to tell me that Lt. Baker had a near fatal heart attack yesterday. I'm the acting lieutenant until further notice."

"Oh no. Is he going to be all right?"

"They don't know yet. Pepper, what I'm trying to tell you is I can't let you transfer because I need you here to help me through this. I'm putting you in charge of S.C.U. to run things while I'm tied up doing lieutenant stuff… I need you, Pepper, I can't do both jobs."

She doesn't answer as she takes this all in, but Bill thinks she is still angry with him. He stops pacing and faces her to plead for her understanding.

"Please believe me, Pepp… I just need you here to take over for me until Baker returns or is replaced. Once it's over you can go anywhere you want… I swear it."

Pepper feels the heartfelt honesty in his words and knows she jumped to the wrong conclusion. She feels bad that she didn't trust him and goes to him, stopping before him.

"I'm sorry, Bill. I should have known you wouldn't do that to me."

She wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him as he sighs and holds her tightly against his chest. He kisses her brow and whispers his relief against her hair. "I would never hurt you, baby."

It is a long time before he pulls back and looks down into her eyes. She smiles at the love shining there and again has hope that their love may be able to survive her past… especially with this new twist. With Bill being the acting lieutenant they won't be working together and she won't have to transfer away from him… at least not yet. She can continue to date him without worrying about it. He bends to kiss her and she reluctantly pushes him away.

"Not here, Bill."

Knowing she is still afraid the past will repeat itself he smiles tenderly, but refuses to let her go. His mouth again drops to hers in a long sweet kiss she can't deny. She moans softly and returns the caress for a moment until he finally does release her to huskily ask, "So, what do you say? Can I count on you to hold down the fort?"

"Of course. You know this means we won't be working together anymore… at least for a while."

"Yes. Does that make you feel better?"

"In a way… at least I won't have to give up my addiction."

He grins as he understands her implication. She smiles too, but there conversation is cut short when Joe again knocks on her door. "Am I interrupting?"

"No. What do you need?"

"We're all set for that deal. Any last instructions?"

"Ok, hang out for a few minutes. I think Bill has something to say to the troops?"

Joe leaves and Pepper quickly brings him up to speed on the buy bust Joe is about to do. They leave her office, once again on good terms. Both feel confident their relationship will survive these rough times.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Over the next six weeks they are very busy in their new jobs. Bill is now in charge of four other unit's instead of just his own and is kept busy overseeing them all. Everyone is always demanding his time and he sees why Lt. Baker had a heart attack. This job is very hectic and stressful. Bill tries to keep an eye on how things are going in S.C.U. for Pepper, but she can handle anything that comes up.

By the end of Bill's seventh week he is feeling more comfortable and can relax somewhat as he settles into a routine. He and Pepper have come to a peaceful arrangement in their relationship and are happy. He only sees her at work when she needs to inform him about big deals going down or search warrants. She also gives him a weekly run down on the statistics every Friday morning.

Their personal life is better than ever. They spend much of their free time together just hanging out. Their nights are filled with love and passion, but while they're at work it's strictly business. Bill is looking forward to their meeting this morning because he hasn't seen her for the last few nights. She and her crew have been working a big stakeout. Just then there is a knock on his door and he smiles, knowing it's her.

"Come."

Pepper comes in wearing jeans and a police raid jacket and looking beautiful as ever. He smiles happily and goes to meet her as she closes the door behind her. When she turns back to him she is in his arms being kissed long and hard. Pepper starts to resist, but then moans softly and melts against him as she returns his kisses. She has also missed him these last two days. When they finally part, Bill's voice is deep and husky.

"Hi, beautiful."

"Hi. Do you greet all your sergeants that way?"

"Very funny. I missed you. I haven't seen you for two days."

"Poor baby."

"You didn't miss me?"

She smiles at his little boy face and curls her hand around his neck as she stands on tiptoe to kiss him again before she replies, "You know I did."

"Good, now can we get back to work, please?"

She laughs as he tries to blame her for the bending of her rule about no contact at work. He sits back down, looking very much like a lieutenant. He would be perfect for this job, but she doesn't say anything as she sits across the desk from him and opens her files.

"Ok, four warrants this week netting a total of a hundred pounds of weed, three kilos of

cocaine, sixty pounds of meth chemicals and twelve guns."

"Any cash or bodies?"

"Some. About $3,000.00 total and eighteen bodies in jail. All on felony charges."

"Good work. Sounds like the unit is cranking out some good stuff."

"That brings me to the next issue. We have a big raid scheduled for today around eleven-o-clock. We got a line on a meth lab over in Escobedo. Pete is drawing up the paper right now."

"All the ground work laid to support it?"

"Yes. We have four separate sources confirming the lab and Pete is into one of the cooks for a deal."

"Good. Be careful on this on, Pepp. You know how volatile labs can be. Have you advised SWAT yet? Or do you want me to do it?"

"It's all been taken care of, boss."

"Sorry, Pepp. I'm not trying to take over… I just hate this desk job stuff. I want to be back out there with you guys on the street."

"So why don't you come with us on this warrant? There's nothing that says you can't work the streets … just to supervise, is there?"

"No, but I can't. I'm due in the Chief's office in thirty minutes. Another useless citizens

action committee meeting."

"Well, I won't keep you then. Besides I need to make sure Pete gets that paper done right. If nothing changes we'll do the paper at eleven, ok?"

"All right, but I want you taking every precaution out there, understood?"

"Yes, sir. See you later."

She stands up to go and for some reason Bill has an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. As she heads for his office door he suddenly gets up and hurries to her side.

"Pepper, wait!"

She turns to look at him, puzzled by his urgency and the worried look in his eyes. He can't explain why, but he feels the need to tell her his concerns.

"Pepper, I don't like the sound of this raid. Please promise me you'll be careful."

"I will, Bill. It'll be fine."

"I love you."

She hesitates before answering him because she has purposely forced herself not to say she loves him. Now, she can sense how important it is to him she and honestly whispers, "I love you too, babe."

He kisses her deeply, demanding a response which she eagerly gives him. When he pulls back he forces himself to let her go with a forced smile.

"Ok, go to work… and be careful."

"I promise." As she leaves he still has the knot in his stomach about this deal. He doesn't have time to dwell on it as he hurries to make it to the chief's office for his meeting.

Pepper is confident the raid will be a success as she ensures everyone is in position around the suspected lab. Her guys will do the actual warrant search, but the SWAT team will make the original entry due to the volatile history of meth labs. They are trained to locate and identify the booby traps set by the bad guys around labs.

Now, the SWAT sergeant gives her the all clear on exterior traps. She gives them the go ahead to make entry into this old run down house in Escobedo. She isn't going in herself because she is coordinating the operation from the alley where she has good visibility and control. The moments tick by and she hears the SWAT team storm inside, screaming and setting off flash bang grenades. She wait's anxiously for a "all clear" signal from the entry team.

Pepper suddenly sees movement from the second story window at the rear of the building. A man drop to the ground and runs, limping towards a car parked to the rear of the house. He has a briefcase in one hand and a Mac-10 machine gun pistol in the other. A quick scan of the area tells her there is only one other officer between him and freedom. She watches in horror as the young beat officer steps out to confront this fleeing criminal and is gunned down instantly.

She is now the only person between him and his escape and she isn't about to let that happen after he just shot another officer. Her car is parked at the alley exit from this property. Without thinking she steps around her car and into the back yard to confront him. He is gunning the car's engine when he sees her and throws it into drive as he heads straight for her. She doesn't hesitate to draw on the driver and fire two shots.

The glass shatters, but he keeps accelerating right towards her. Pepper side steps for a better shot and shoots several more times. As she does his arm comes out the driver's window with the Mac-10. She continues to fire directly at his head, even as she feels a searing pain rip through her right arm and shoulder. The car swerves out of control and she just manages to dive out of the way before it smashes into the block wall behind her. The wall and her car behind it in the alley stop his momentum. Pepper lies dazed on the ground beside the smashed car. The engine is still racing because the driver's lifeless foot is pressing on the accelerator. The block wall vibrates violently and begins to crumble, falling on top of her. She manages to stay alert long enough to turn towards him with her gun raised in her left hand. Her vision is blurry, but she can see the driver is slumped over the wheel, dead. Her energy is draining fast and her hand slumps to the ground as another chunk of block wall falls on her and darkness envelops her in unconsciousness.

Several of the raid team from inside the house heard the shots in the rear yard and were just running out the back door. They stopped in horror at the scene unfolding in the back yard. Before they can react it is over and they stand in horror as they survey the two officers down and the bad guy dead in the car. Joe is the first to react as he screams and races towards Pepper.

"Oh, shit! Pepper!" Joe and the others run towards the down officers as shouts are heard from someone demanding paramedics be called. The SWAT sergeant takes control of the scene while Joe skids to a halt beside Pepper's still body. His heart stops as he sees her raid jacket covered in blood. They carefully uncover her from the wall debris, but don't move her for fear of internal injuries. From their position they couldn't see if the car actually hit her or not so they don't want to take any chances. He strips open her jacket and sighs in relief as he sees her ballistic vest. There are two bullet's lodged in the vest, but two other shots missed the vest and struck her in the right arm and shoulder.

He checks her vital signs and silently prays she won't die. It takes forever for the paramedics to get there, but in fact it is only a few minutes. When they arrive Joe reluctantly steps back to allow them room to work. He suddenly remembers Bill and grabs Pete by the arm and drags him aside.

"Pete… you get your ass over to the Chief's office and find Bill! Understand? Get him over to Valley Hospital code three! Now move!"

"Got it!"

Pete turns and races back to his car. He is shaking badly, but takes several deep breaths as he tells himself over and over again that she'll be okay. He drives like a man possessed with red lights and siren screaming all the way downtown. Once there he leaves the car running, half on the curb, as he races inside. Taking the stairs three at a time, he rushes into the office demanding to know where Sgt. Crowley is. The startled secretary can only point to the conference room and mutter, "There…."

Pete rushes past her and ignores policy and politeness as he bursts into the room and stops dead as thirty faces turn to stare at him. Pete quickly scans the room until he sees Bill rising out of his seat. Bill's heart is in his throat as their eyes meet and he knows, even before Pete says the words.

"Bill, it's Pepper… she's been shot…"

The whole room gasps in stunned silence as Bill and Pete race from the room. Bill curses himself for not listening to that nagging warning in his gut this morning. He prays she is all right as Pete drives like a maniac towards Valley Hospital.

Bill doesn't know how they got to the hospital, but before he knew it they were screeching to a halt by the emergency room doors. Pete tried to fill him in on the details as best he could, but he didn't have all the facts. Bill is shaking so badly when he enters the emergency room his legs almost give out on him. The first people he sees are Jack Taylor, the SWAT sergeant and Joe. They both rush over to him and Joe can see the fear in his eyes as he immediately places calming hands on his shoulders and reassures him.

"She's gonna be ok, Bill."

"Where is she?"

"She's in surgery now."

Bill turns to his friend Jack when he spoke, remembering the other officer involved. "And the other officer?"

"He's gonna be fine too."

Jack leads him to a quiet corner and forces Bill to sit down when he sees him swaying. Joe kneels in front of him as he keeps his voice low and begins to update him on what they know.

"Bill, the doctor says she took two shots. One to the right shoulder, about here... that went through clean. The other one struck her upper right arm about here... that one is more serious because it broke her arm pretty bad."

Bill runs his fingers shakily through his hair, afraid to ask the next question, but needing to know as he angrily demands to know what went wrong.

"What else… Pete said Smith got shot then Pepper got run over."

"Smith was shot first, but he took most of it in the vest. Then the guy aimed his car right at Pepper and hit the gas. She unloaded on him but the driver was shooting back at her. He took a head shot and his car careened into a block wall only inches from where Pepper went down. The wall collapsed and buried her in the rubble. We thought she'd been run over, but luckily he missed her."

"She has some cuts and bruises from the wall, but nothing serious."

"How bad is her arm?"

"The doctor said they'll have to put some screws in it and fix a torn artery. If the connection goes well she should be all right."

"And if not?"

"She may lose that arm, Bill. The bullet tore it up pretty bad just below the shoulder."

"Oh, Jesus! I knew this would happen. I had a bad feeling about this from the start. I should have been there. Damn it! I should have been there!" He gets up to pace the waiting room in frustration; then suddenly turns to the two men and angrily accuses them in his frustration.

"What the hell happened out there anyway? Why wasn't the entry made by SWAT?"

"Bill, it was. This was a textbook raid. You couldn't have planned it better yourself."

"Jack's right, Bill. Pepper had everything under control. She was coordinating from a safe position in the alley when they made entry."

"One bad guy bailed out a second story window and caught officer Smith by surprise. He was covering that corner in the rear and when this guy drops down on him Smith didn't

have any cover. The suspect just mowed him down with a Mac-10 machine pistol. It happened so fast Pepper was the only one in a position to take this guy out after Smith went down."

"Ok, start from the beginning. I'm sorry I yelled at you guys. Please tell me everything."

"SWAT was inside, sweeping and securing the house. Our team was waiting to enter and patrol was covering the perimeters as usual. It was going fine until we heard shots coming from the backyard. We ran back there, but it was too late. I came around the corner to see Smith down and the car heading straight for Pepper. He opened up on her and she fired back several times. She took him out, but she got hit too. She went down just as the car hit the wall where she had been standing."

"Of all the stupid…"

"Before you start telling us how stupid it was of her to do that… just remember that any one of us would have done the same. Pepper is one hell of a cop and she's never been one to run from a fight... especially when there's another officer down."

"I know Jack, I meant that I was the stupid one. I had a bad feeling about this raid this morning and I warned her to be careful. She asked me to come along, but I blew it off for that damned committee meeting. I should have been there."

"Why? So you could have been shot instead of her?"

"Yes, damn it!"

"Bill, you and I both know this stuff happens. It's the business."

Bill knows he's right and falls silent as he runs his fingers through his hair and goes to stare blindly out the window as he replays the scene in his head. Joe gets him a cup of coffee and comes to stand beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. After several silent moments Joe finally speaks and his voice shakes with emotion.

"I thought she was dead, Bill. When I first got to her… she looked so pale and…. and there was so much blood…" He pauses as his voice cracks and he has to take deep breaths to calm himself before he can continue, "I don't know what I'd have done if she had. I don't think I could have faced you… I just couldn't get there in time. I'm sorry, Bill."

"It's not your fault, Joe. Jack is right things happen quickly and you just have to handle it. Pepper did the right thing… and I'm glad you were there for her."

They are interrupted by the entrance of a doctor in surgical clothing. He stops in the middle of the room and looks from one man to the next. "Has any of the family for Sgt. Anderson arrived?"

"Here, This is her fiancé, Bill Crowley."

Bill doesn't hesitate to step forward and doesn't see the surprise on Jack's face as he anxiously asks, "How is she? Did the surgery go well?"

"The surgery went fine. We've repaired the damage to her arm and the shoulder wound was a clean shot with only soft tissue damage."

"So she's out of danger then?"

"Well, we still don't know if she'll have full mobility in that arm."

"Any internal injuries?"

"Not that we found. She has quite a bit of soft tissue bruising from that block wall falling on her, but that will heal in time."

"Can I see her?"

"You can go up after we get her stabilized and moved out of the recovery room. It should be about an hour. I'll send someone for you then. Now, if you will excuse me."

The doctor leaves and Bill stands there in the middle of the room numb with relief. He doesn't notice that everyone is looking at him curiously until Joe's words break into his stunned mind.

"Well, what did he say, Bill? Is she gonna be all right?"

"Yea… I think so. She may have some limitations in mobility in that arm, but she's doing fine."

"Bill, she's alive and that's all that matters."

"Yea... yea, it is."

"You stay here and get yourself under control, Bill. I just heard the watch commander come on scene here. I'll go fill him in so he doesn't have a million questions."

Bill just nods and after he leaves the room Bill looks over at his friend and takes a shaky breath as he holds out a hand so Joe can see how badly it is shaking. Without words Joe comes over and hugs his friend comfortingly.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

With his hand on the door Bill hesitates a long moment, afraid of what he'll find on the other side. After taking several deep breaths and forces himself to be strong as he finally pushes it open and steps inside. His steps falter as he sees her lying on the bed looking frail and weak. Her arm is in a traction cast with bandages and wires attached to the pins protruding from her upper arm. She also has a heavy bandage covering her right shoulder. The IV and oxygen lines seem to be holding her prisoner. Bill's heart skips a beat as he sees all the cuts and abrasions. He slowly approaches and tentatively touches her hand as he fights back his tears. He takes her hand in his gently, afraid of causing her more pain. She stirs and wakes up slowly, looking around in a groggy haze as pain flashes through her.

Bill sees her grimace as she tries to move and tenderly cautions, "Easy, baby. Don't try to move."

She hears his voice through the haze of pain and forces her eyes to focus on the location of the sound. When she sees his face she smiles weakly and tries to speak, but her mind is too foggy. Bill lightly squeezes her hand and whispers, "Ssshhh, just lie quiet, I'm here."

She faintly grips his hand and fights off the enveloping darkness as she forces out the words, "Don't… leave… me…"

"I'm right here, honey… just rest."

Again he squeezes her hand and fights back the tears as she slips into unconsciousness. He stays with her, holding her hand, as the nurse comes in frequently to check on her. He only leaves briefly to speak with Captain Clayton and the others in the waiting room. The room is full of officers who knew her and others who just came to show support for the fellow officers injured today. He bypasses the TV crews in the outer hallway and enters the waiting room. Everyone falls silent as he enters. They can see the worry in his eyes.

He takes a deep breath and announces, "Pepper is out of surgery now. They repaired her right arm with pins and reconstruction of the artery. She may have some motion limitations, but other than that she'll be fine. There were no internal injuries since the other shot went through her right shoulder cleanly. Apparently the car missed her by inches and she just has a few cuts and bruises from the falling debris."

Bill sees all three chiefs, Bob Harrison, Steve Griffin and Harry Cline among the group. They step forward in unison and Cline quietly asks, "Bill, is there anything you need? Anything we can do?"

"I know this is a touchy situation for you two. Joe told us about your engagement and we understand you want to keep it quiet. No one will mention it, okay?"

Bill knows it's too late to try and deny that he and Pepper are in a relationship and he doesn't want to. He just nods his agreement as he silently hopes Pepper isn't too mad about this getting out. He is more concerned with getting her well again.

Chief Griffin, Bill's long time friend, pats him on the shoulder and teases, "You always could pick 'em, couldn't you? Not only is she the most beautiful woman on the department, but she's also a damned hero."

"Yea. I keep telling myself that, but what I'd really like to do is chain her to a desk so she'll stay out of trouble."

They laugh and the tension eases a bit. Jack Taylor, another close friend walks up and offers his assistance to the group of men.

"Do you want me to handle the media? I pretty much know the routine and the whole story. I can give them a few details."

"Sure Jack, but remember not a word about personal lives."

"Sure. What about the hero stuff? Should I play it up or let it go as routine police work?"

"Damned right we're gonna play up the hero bit. It's not often we get to praise officers like this."

"Pepper's gonna be madder than hops over this when she sees her face all over the news, boss."

"Maybe, but she'll get over it. She was the acting Street Crimes Unit sergeant when this happened, wasn't she?"

"Yea. I told Captain Clayton she'd show me up and take my job." They all laugh and then Bill glances at his watch as he tiredly says, "I better get back in there. I don't want her to wake up alone."

"You go on. We'll take care of this mob."

He turns to announce to the others that Pepper will be ok. As he is explaining the situation to them Bill motions to Joe and they step out into the hallway where they can speak in private.

"She's gonna be okay, Joe. She woke up for a minute and was able to speak to me a little."

"Thank God, I've been so worried. Give her my best? Tell her…"

"I know, I'll tell her. Go on home to Harriett before she worries to death wondering what's going on."

"I'll stop back tomorrow. Maybe Pepper can have visitors by then."

"Sure, Joe. … and thanks."

He firmly shakes Joe's hand and then turns to head back to Pepper's room. He hears Jack Taylor speaking with the media crews and is glad he doesn't have to deal with them.

Bill stays at Pepper's side all night and watches as she wakes for a few moments off and on, still groggy under the haze of anesthesia. In the early hours of the morning he finally drifts off to sleep with his head resting on the edge of her bed. Pepper's eyes open slowly, for the first time without the haziness. She looks around slowly in the faint glow from the monitors and winces as pain flashes through her right shoulder when she tries to turn her head. She looks at her right arm and is flooded by memories of how it occurred. Unsure how seriously she is injured she looks to her left side and smiles when she sees a dark head resting on the bed beside her hand. She gently strokes his hair with her good hand for several minutes while he sleeps. Bill suddenly wakes and sit's up quickly, instantly alert. Her hand is still on his shoulder and she smiles tiredly.

"Hi."

"Hi, how do you feel?"

"Very thirsty… water?"

He pours a small glass of water for her and helps her sip it through a straw until it is all gone.

"Are you in any pain?"

"Only when I move. I'm okay."

There is a long moment of silence as their eyes meet, sending unspoken messages of love. Bill finally takes her good hand in his and kisses it gently. "You scared the hell out of me today, lady."

"Sorry. Guess I should have listened to you, huh?"

"You couldn't have done anything different, but I should have blown off that committee meeting."

Again there is a long silence as she smiles, knowing he is blaming himself for this. She squeezes his hand, "Hey, you're always with me… don't you know that?"

"But I…"

"Bill, it wouldn't have changed anything, except there would be three officers down now. How's that young kid, Smith?"

"He's fine. He took it in the vest. God, I hate to see you hurting…"

"Come here."

Bill stands up to lean over so he can hug her carefully. She wraps her good arm around him as she holds him close and kisses his temple. She speaks her heart without doubt now, "I love you, Bill."

"I love you too... but honey?" He pulls back to look down into her eyes as he seriously scolds, "Don't ever do this to me again!"

She tries not to laugh then grimaces as the pain flares up again. "Don't make me laugh… it hurts…"

Bill taps her nose and sits on the edge of her bed grinning as she complains about the pain. "Good. It serves you right for scaring me out of ten years of my life."

"You're too mean to die young. You'll outlive me for sure."

"Today I realized how short life is, baby. I can see now how time is wasting away and I don't want to waste another minute. I think we better get married right away."

She thinks he is kidding, but when she looks up at him she sees the determination in his eyes again. She lays her hand on his arm and studies him a long moment before she hesitantly asks, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am… about getting married, but I intend to live a long time. Long enough to see us old and happy with our grandkids running around the house."

"Bill, don't you think this is kind of sudden?"

"No. I came close to losing you today. Pepper, I don't want to waste another minute without you."

She doesn't know what to say and her mind is swirling from the implications. She has never considered their life that far in the future and it makes her nervous. Bill realizes he has scared her and gently kisses her fingers to calm her fears.

"Relax, sweetheart, I'm not asking for a commitment right now. I've just been sitting here for hours thinking about us… about what my life would be like without you and I didn't like the answer. All you need to know right now is that I love you. I'll be here waiting when you're ready, ok? I'm not trying to rush you."

She is afraid to look into his eyes, knowing he can convince her of anything when she does. He studies her for a long moment before he gently lifts her chin so their eyes meet. He leans down and kisses her with such sweet tenderness that her breath catches in her throat. When he releases her lips he smiles happily and she just sighs in defeat. She knows she is too groggy to debate this with him. They sit in silence for a while until she looks down at her arm.

"What happened out there… after I got hit?"

"Well, from what Joe told me you killed the bad guy about the same time he shot you. Then you managed to barely avoid getting run over when his car crashed into the wall beside you. Then they had to dig you out from under the debris from the wall. You were bleeding pretty good and poor Joe thought you were dead. I think he aged ten years too."

"I feel like a brick wall fell on me. My whole body aches."

"You'll feel better in the morning. Right now I'm going to get the nurse to give you something for the pain so you can sleep."

He presses the button to summon the nurse and a moment later she appears. She asks Pepper some questions and when she is satisfied with her condition she gives her something for the pain. Bill sit's with her until the medicine takes effect, her eyes become droopy and she finally drifts into a peaceful sleep. When he is certain she is asleep he quietly slips from the room to get some coffee.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

Two weeks later, as the doctor is removing her arm from the traction machine, he comments on the immense number of plants, gifts and balloons filling her room.

"I feel like I'm in a jungle with all the plants and flowers. How are you going to get them all home?"

"I haven't got a clue. I just want to go home. Can I still get out of here tomorrow?"

"Yes, if you don't have any complications after being taken off the traction."

"It feels great just to be able to put my arm down. How long before the pins come out?"

"Another month. We'll have you come in for an outpatient surgery to remove them. It shouldn't take very long."

"How long before I can get back to work?"

"Work? You should be thinking about a long vacation so you can heal, young lady."

"How long, Doc?"

"Oh, a minimum of six weeks after the pins are out, but I think longer."

"Six weeks! On top of the next four weeks?"

"And not a minute sooner, either."

Neither had seen Bill arrive until he speaks from the doorway. He approaches shaking his finger at her in a stern manner and she sticks her tongue out at him in a pouting fashion.

"Bully."

He ignores her and simply kisses her brow before he turns to speak with the doctor.

"Is she giving you any trouble, doctor?"

"No more than usual. There, that should do it. Now, if you feel any pain or numbness tell the nurse right away, ok?"

"Got it. Thanks, Doc."

When he is gone she sit's pouting for a moment as Bill perches on the edge of her bed. She is tired of lying there and wants to get up and moving. She slowly sit's up and swings her feet over the edge so she is sitting beside Bill.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"He said I can get up now. Besides I can't stand to be in that bed another minute."

She stands up carefully and he steadies her as she maneuvers the heavy cast on her right arm. After a moment she turns to face him and curves her good arm around his neck as she kisses him deeply. Bill groans and pulls her closer, careful not to bump her injuries, as he returns her kiss with barely concealed desire. It is a long time before they come up for air.

"Baby, I miss you so much."

"I know… all I want is to go home. I can't seem to sleep without you beside me anymore."

He kisses her again and feels his desire pounding through his veins as she presses herself closer. Suddenly he breaks the kiss to gently push her back.

"Don't… I've been a very lonely boy lately. If you do that I can't guarantee your safety. Come on, let's go for a short walk."

She giggles and runs her hand possessively over the bulge in his levis. He groans and enjoys her caress for a moment before he removes her hand.

"I don't think you should go out in public like this."

"Get your slippers on while I think about female sumo wrestlers."

She laughs and goes into the bathroom to comb her hair as best she can and slide her feet into her slippers. When she returns Bill is under control and winks at her as he opens the door.

"Works every time."

She has avoided thinking about Bill's proposal because she is still leery of making that commitment. She had just started to realize they were perfect together when this happened. Now Bill wants to marry her and it's just too sudden. The idea of marrying Bill isn't new to her, and starting a family with him has crossed her mind on many occasions. Deep inside she wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him, but that old fear just won't let go of her.

The next day Joe and Harriett are at the hospital with their minivan to help Pepper carry all of her plants and presents home. She still can't believe the number of gifts and cards she got from people she doesn't even know. Many are from the public in general saying how proud they are of her and what a hero they think she is. Bill was right about her being angry over the hero coverage, but she quickly got over it and decided to ignore it all.

Now, as Bill, Joe and Harriett make trip after trip out to the van she sit's patiently on the bed waiting to be discharged. Her mind is still on the topic of having children when she suddenly realizes she's missed her period… again. She thought the first time may have been because of her recent increase in sexual activity, and maybe the second time was because of her injury, but what could cause it to skip again? When the doctor returns they are alone and she decides to ask him about it.

"Doctor? I know this probably isn't your field… but, I was wondering… I've noticed… well, is there anything I should know about stress related symptoms?"

"Such as?"

"Well… I missed my period… again."

"And you've been queasy?"

"Yes, but that's just the medicines I've been on, right?"

"You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"You're pregnant, Miss Anderson. About three months along I would guess."

The shock registering on her face answers his question. She didn't know she was pregnant. He hurries on to eliminate any fears she may have about the baby's safety.

"The baby is fine. At first we thought you might miscarry, but after the first twenty-four hours the danger to the baby passed. I'm sorry, I thought you knew you were pregnant."

"What!"

Again Bill had entered the room unseen by them. Now, he and Pepper stare blankly at each other as the realization hit's them. His eyes finally return to the doctor's for confirmation.

"Pepper is pregnant?"

"Yes, I'm sorry if this comes as a shock. I thought you both knew about it."

Bill's eyes are again on her as his heart hammers in his chest. He feels lightheaded and has to concentrate on walking the short distance to where Pepper is seated on the bed. Her good hand is unconsciously stroking her belly as she realizes the signs were there all along. She'd just been too distracted to recognize them. She had been stupid to think it was all related to the stress of taking over Bill's job and her new relationship. When she finally looks up at Bill he is staring at her with that look in his eyes which scares her to death. She doesn't know what to say as time seems to stand still for them. They are oblivious to everything, but themselves. The doctor realizes they need time alone and makes a quick excuse to leave the room.

"I'll go see to the paperwork then… good luck and my congratulations to you both."

Bill mumbles a thank you, but his eyes never leave hers. Bill gently pulls her off the bed and into his arms as he holds her close. Joe and Harriett are just entering when the doctor leaves and Joe curiously asks, "Congratulations for what? Getting out of this place?"

"No, Joe, Pepper and I are getting married."

Pepper is still in shock and it takes several moments for his words to sink into her numb brain. Before she can contradict him Harriett rushes up to hug her and express her joy at the news. Pepper tries to deny the announcement, but Bill's fingers tighten on her arm in a silent warning.

Harriett is already thinking ahead to the planning of the wedding as she excitedly asks, "So when is the lucky day?"

"We're not sure yet, but soon."

"Are you going to wait until that big cast is off her arm? She would look pretty funny in a wedding gown with that cast on."

"Yes, we'll wait that long, but not a minute after. I can guarantee that."

Pepper catches the hidden message in his voice and looks up at him. Now she sees the determination in his eyes and fights back the fear. She feels as if she is being swept along on a tidal wave, drowning and yet not really trying to escape. The more she thinks about it, she realizes this is just what she's been fantasizing about for weeks. All she has to do now is convince herself to let go of that old fear. Deep inside she is filled with an overwhelming happiness that she is carrying Bill's child and she finally manages a nervous smile. She sits in dazed silence while the other three carry all of her plants, gifts and hospital stuff down to Joe's mini-van. When everything is loaded Bill takes her home.

Once they are alone in his car Bill stops to look over at her for a long moment. She hasn't said a word and he's worried because he sees the old fear in her eyes again. He tries to comfort her fears with gentle reasoning.

"Baby, I couldn't be happier about this child. I know we didn't exactly plan this, but it's my dream come true."

"We've never discussed the future, Bill. We've never talked about any of this… I just don't know…"

"What is there to know? We love each other… right? It's just the next step, Pepp. We get married and start our family… it's just a little sooner than we would have normally."

"Marriage is a big commitment, Bill."

"I know, sweetie, and I know all this scares you, but we have a baby to think about now. I know we'll give this baby the best home we can because we were meant to be together."

She is close to tears and can't answer so she just nods as he leaves it at that and turns back to concentrate on driving them home. She is silent on the drive and he knows she will take some time to get used to the idea. When the car stops in her driveway she is surprised, not sure how they got there so soon. Bill smiles happily at her and leans over to kiss her gently as he runs his hand over her still flat belly.

"I love you, Pepper."

"I love you too, but I'm scared, Bill."

"So am I. I've never been a husband or a father before, but I'm also very happy for us."

He kisses her again and gets out to come around and help her from the car. Joe and Harriett pull into the driveway behind them and Bill helps her inside before he comes out to help unload all the flowers and gifts. Pepper sit's in the living room, finally giving up all attempts to help them after she is scolded several times by her friends. Harriett insists on pampering her and makes her a cup of tea before propping her arm on a pillow in Pepper's favorite chair. When they are all done they sit in the living room chatting casually until Harriett grins and admits to her part of the matchmaking scheme.

"Pepper, you're welcome to use the wedding gown we sewed… since it's already been tailored to you."

"What about your niece?"

"Well… we do have a niece, Rachel, but she's only twelve."

Pepper looks confused as she takes in the guilty expressions on Harriett and Joe's faces. Bill laughs and finally enlightens her, "I think what Harriett is trying to do is confess to her part of their matchmaking scheme. She and Joe planned that whole night at their house to get us together, my dear. Harriett had you try that dress on just so I could see you in it."

"But why?"

"I guess to put certain ideas in my head."

"And it worked too! The sight of you on that pedestal, all glowing and satin, almost blew Bill's circuit's."

"I admit it, you took my breath away when I saw you."

She blushes and looks down shyly as they all watch her happily as Bill decides it's time to divulge the whole truth and continues the story.

"Then Joe conveniently rigged your car so it wouldn't start… knowing what a gentleman I am… I would take you home."

"I don't recall you being much of a gentleman when you grabbed me and forced me into your car."

"But wasn't I a gentleman when I walked you to your door … and opened it for you?"

Pepper blushes again as she remembers the night. She tries to hide her obvious embarrassment as she spends several minutes fluffing her pillow under her arm. She finally looks up at them all and asks, "So I never stood a chance, did I?"

"Nope. I told you we were destined to be together."

"Yea, but I didn't know you had a conspiracy going to make sure it happened!"

"Believe me, Bill was just as unaware of our plan as you were… that is until later."

"We didn't mean to mettle, Pepper, but we just knew you two were meant to be together… and we were right, weren't we?"

"Yea, I guess you were."

Once again they laugh and Bill takes her good hand in his and kisses it gently. They talk about things for a while and then Harriett reminds her husband they need to get back to their kids. After they have gone Bill tells her that he wants to run back to his home to get a few things because he'll be staying with her for the next several weeks. Pepper starts to protest, but cuts it short when he glares at her and orders her to just sit back and behave until he gets back. She pretends to pout, but in reality she's glad he offered to stay with her because she was afraid to ask him. It will be a good test for them over the next few weeks to see if they can live together and still get along.

After two weeks at home Pepper is feeling well enough that she is getting cabin fever and wants to get out. She keeps after Bill until he agrees to let her come back to work… strictly in a light duty position in the office. He arranges for her to continue working in S.C.U so he can keep an eye on her. The other sergeants actually run the unit, but she helps them with the administrative paperwork. Pepper seems much happier having something to do during the days. Although she seems buried by the amount of work sometimes she never complains. Bill tries to check on her at least once a day to make sure she is behaving. She complains that she couldn't do anything if she wanted to with the heavy, awkward cast on her arm. She tells him not to waste time checking on her, but she secretly loves the attention. There are a constant stream of people who stop by to tell her how happy they are that she is going to be all right. No one knows about their upcoming marriage except Joe and Harriett and Pepper wants to keep it that way for now.

Pepper has been back to work for four weeks now and is anxious to get the cast off her arm. The pins were removed without complications, but the doctor wanted to keep the cast on another two weeks just in case. The shoulder wound is almost healed and she wants to start therapy to rebuild her weak arm as soon as possible. She is confident she will regain full use of her arm when the cast is removed.

Bill is driving her to the doctor's office in an hour to get it off. He finds her sitting at her desk, lost in thought as she absently strokes her good hand across her belly. Bill has seen her do this many times and smiles as he stops in the doorway to watch.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Oh, I didn't hear you come in."

"You look like you were a thousand miles away."

"I was. Sixteen weeks. That's what my o/b doctor estimates the baby is right now."

"Yea, four months already. Time sure flies by, doesn't it?"

"I was just thinking back… and I think I must have gotten pregnant on that first night. The night we came from Joe's house."

He comes to stand behind her chair as he gently massages her neck. After a moment he bends over to run his hands lovingly over her slightly mounded belly.

"It was a magical night. I have no doubt that's when he was conceived."

"He?"

"Yep. I have a feeling it's a boy in there."

"Well, knowing how accurate your 'feelings' are, I'd say you're probably right."

"So when are we going to announce our upcoming wedding, my dear? You can't hide your pregnancy much longer."

"I know, I'm getting fatter by the minute. I guess we'll have to do it soon, huh?"

"Yep, especially since your cast is coming off today. That means we can get married now."

"Sure you don't want to change your mind about me?"

"Positive. How about you?"

"I can't think of anything I want more… that is except maybe get some lunch before my appointment. I'm starving."

Bill laughs and helps her out of her chair as he escorts her out into the hallway. She playfully slaps his arm as she indignantly says, "Stop laughing at me, mister. I can't help it… it probably is a boy because he's always hungry."

Again she lovingly strokes her belly and Bill kisses her temple gently as they walk down the hallway. His pride and happiness grow each day that his child grows inside her. It suddenly dawns on him Joe was right when he said Bill had never really been happy before now.

The appointment to get the cast removed goes smoothly and Pepper is relieved to find there are no complications. Her arm, although very weak seems to be operating perfectly. She is amazed at how much weaker her right arm is now and is determined to build it back up. The doctor warns her not to do too much and she agrees that won't be a problem since she seems to have about twenty guardian angels watching everything she tries to do. The doctor schedules her to begin physical therapy several times a week and orders her to remain on light duty until further notice. After they leave his office Pepper stops by the car and pouts about her restrictions as Bill unlocks the door for her.

"I hate light duty. I don't think I can take another eight weeks of desk work."

"Well, maybe you won't have to."

"Why, are you going to put me out of my misery?"

"No. Actually I was thinking I might take you on a month long honeymoon. How does a nice tropical island sound?"

"Great, but I'm going to look like a beached whale in a bathing suit right now."

"What makes you think you'll be spending any time outside of our room, lady?"

She blushes again, laughing as he takes her in his arms and twirls her around. He doesn't care that they are standing in a busy parking lot as he kisses her soundly and holds her close. He finally sets her feet back on the ground and Pepper is stunned by the depth of his desire as he kisses her passionately again and again. It has been too long since their last time together and she also feels the desire building in her. She moans softly and returns his caresses until they are both breathless. Pepper suddenly winces in pain as she tries to hug him tightly with her weak arm. Bill pulls back, immediately worried about her arm.

"Baby, are you all right? Did I bump your arm?"

She just smiles and loops her good arm around his neck as she kisses his chin and playfully teases him. "I guess I'll just a have to build my arm up before we get to this exotic island. I wouldn't want it to interfere with anything."

Bill studies her for a long moment and suddenly becomes serious as he kisses her gently and huskily whispers, "I know all this still scares you, but I love you... more than I ever

thought possible. I want you to know that I intend to spend the rest of my life making you happy, sweetheart."

"I am scared, Bill, but I'm not running. I love you and I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. You'll just have to put up with my occasional anxiety attacks until I can convince myself you really are real. I keep expecting to wake up and find you gone."

"I won't ever leave you, Pepper, and I won't ever be like that guy. I'll always just be me… in love with you." He kisses her again with such love and emotion that it makes her heart pound hard. He finally breaks the kiss as he huskily adds, "Now that we have that settled let's go home… I have another matter to discuss with you, baby."

She just giggles and allows him to open her door for her. He hurries around to the other side and drives quickly from the hospital parking lot. Taking her home for some long overdue tender loving care.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Now, six months after their first kiss in the pool house at his party, Bill comes to her in her bed. Both nervously anticipate this night and the excitement to come like to newlywed virgins. Bill is careful not to bump her arm and takes his time exploring her body anew. He kisses every part of her, exploring each line and curve with his tongue. She lies back, moaning softly, as he triggers sensitive pleasure centers and wave after wave of tremors race through her. His lips linger lovingly on the rounded softness of her belly as he silently says hello to his child within her. His concerns about making love to her at this time were eased when she told him she had already checked with her doctor and there was nothing to worry about at this stage.

Bill's hand slides up her inner thigh and she spreads her legs to him eagerly. He kisses a trail lower as his fingers caress her tender flesh and she holds her breath in anticipation. He caresses her for several minutes; his fingers sliding in and out of her wet canal. Then he suddenly rolls onto his back, pulling her onto him in the process, so their heads are at opposite ends. He guides her hips down to his waiting mouth and she moans as she lowers her sex for his caress. His tongue strokes slowly over her in broad flat motions and she slowly moves her hips in rhythm with him.

After several moments her eyes flutter shut as he begins to flick his tongue over sensitive areas; expertly exciting her. She enjoys his sweet torture, but after several minutes her arm begins to ache from supporting her upper body and she lowers herself down to lay over his torso. He groans when he feels her tongue run the length of his erect manhood. She teases him for a few moments before taking his hard shaft into her mouth and sucking on the hot, throbbing shaft. Bill growls and responds by plunging his tongue into her hot canal, devouring her in his excitement.

When they have tortured each other to the point of almost losing control Bill urges her to turn around so their hips are aligned and she straddles him again. She sinks slowly down onto his throbbing shaft and they both tremble at the intense sensation. They move in slow harmony together as he holds her hips so that he can thrust up into her. Her head rests on his shoulder, by his ear and she whispers sexy words of encouragement as he carries her along on the tidal wave building inside them. It isn't long before they are both panting and she kisses him deeply as a moan escapes her throat. Her whole body tenses as she is rocked by a very intense orgasm. Bill feels her canal contracting around him and groans as he thrusts harder, forcing his manhood deeply into her. He whimpers and goes rigid for several seconds as he also experiences the intense pleasure.

After several minutes they both relax and Bill cradles her closely on his chest, tenderly kissing her brow. Still joined at the hip they lie there silent and content. Bill knows he can't ask too much of her this soon and puts thoughts of further lovemaking out of his mind. They lie in each other's arms, satisfied and happy as they think about the future. When they finally drift off to sleep a smile stays on their lips because they know that from this point on their lives will only get better and better.

1


End file.
